Seriously? You're engaged to this woman knowing what you already know about her? This sounds like the moment when an ultimatum is required, but honestly, you've already done that. You told her she needed to quit contacting her ex, and she made excuses to continue. Sure, the "BFF" argument is tempting, but if my ex-lover of either sex was also my best friend outside my current relationship, I'd expect my fiancé to be more than a little concerned.
If all is truly on the up-and-up between these two women who are "just friends", then you should all be able to comfortably socialize together. Try asking for that. If the answer is a resounding "NO WAY!", then I'd say you have your answer. The difficulty in bi relationships is that it's too easy for the current partner to overlook a connection to another partner of the opposite sex. They were already lovers, she already cheated WITH you. There's nothing to suggest that she won't cheat ON you if you don't take the reins here and bring the situation out into the daylight. A nice dinner out for the three of you (or four, if the ex also has a new partner), would give you a much better insight into what's going on.
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