[kbandme]

My daughter is 8 years old and I am now facing court because her biological father believes that he has rights to her. We were not married ever and he has seen her one time in 8 years. He also just started paying child support because od a state order, he has never sent money or clothing or anything for her until January. I have an email that he sent a few months ago where he states that he walked away from her because he thought he was doing what was best for her. Keep in mind that the last time he saw her was when she was 6 weeks old until just this past August. Is this abandonment? Does he have rights to try and take her from me or receive visitation now?

[JudyKayTee]

He's the father. He is entitled to visitation (and can even ask for custody). Is there PROOF he is the father? The Court may require DNA testing.

No, it's not abandoment. Support and custody/visitation are not related. One does not depend on the other.

I find his email will help HIM - at that time he felt it was best to walk away. Now he's changed his mind.

What State - it matters, but very little.

No, it's not abandonment in the eyes of the Law.

[kbandme]

@JudyKayTee- I live in Georgia. When he found out I was pregnant he moved to Missouri and there is DNA testing proving he is the father because he did not believe that he was. I was also wondering if I should see what my daughter wants or not speak with her about it. She is only 8 and I do not want her to worry about any of this.

[ScottGem]

My daughter is 8 years old and I am now facing court because her biological father believes that he has rights to her. ... Does he have rights to try and take her from me or receive visitation now?

He doesn't just believe he has rights, the law gives him those rights.

No, he will not be able to take her away from you, but he will be allowed visitation rights. These rights may be limited at first as his daughter gets to know him, but if he proves himself the visitation may be extended.

[ScottGem]

@JudyKayTee- I live in Georgia. When he found out I was pregnant he moved to Missouri and there is DNA testing proving he is the father because he did not believe that he was. I was also wondering if I should see what my daughter wants or not speak with her about it. She is only 8 and I do not want her to worry about any of this.

Yes you should talk to your daughter. You should tell her that her father made a mistake. He made some bad decisions when you were born, but now he wants to try to make up for those mistakes. Tell her he is going to court for the right to be in your life because he realizes what a great kid you are. If the court agrees then she needs to give him a chance.

[Fr_Chuck]

In GA, abandoment is not paying court ordered child support, so when did you got to court and get a court order for support and how many months or years did he not pay after you had a court order.

In GA just not paying child support and not visiting is not a reason to lose rights. Long term prison could be.

So he has rights, so not only does he believe he has rights, but he has them. You can ask for his first few visits to be supervised, or even for him to pay for counseling for child to get used to their father. The court may or may not allow this, or they may just allow him to start having visits. Including over night at his home. At a min normally he will get every other weekend, every other holiday and normally one evening during the week.

[JudyKayTee]

@JudyKayTee- I live in Georgia. When he found out I was pregnant he moved to Missouri and there is DNA testing proving he is the father because he did not believe that he was. I was also wondering if I should see what my daughter wants or not speak with her about it. She is only 8 and I do not want her to worry about any of this.

Well, as a stepmother I can see your predicament here. Do you say something and the child worries? Do you say nothing and visitation is a surprise?

How would this work? You, of course, have to be VERY careful that your own emotions don't come into play, that you don't mouth her father (even if he is a deadbeat). You don't want your daughter to think that something about her made him stay away.

Is there another father figure in her life?

At any rate I would request that visitation be supervised at first - by anyone. I would not allow my daughter out of supervision with anyone, including her father, that she does not know.

I don't think you have grounds to block his visitation SO if you can smile for the benefit of your daughter and remain civil with him, I would do that. I wouldn't start a war, even a small one.

You can approach it as he's been busy (or whatever) but now he would like to see her. At one time you loved him (even if you didn't) and so she was born and he's her father and so on.

These are difficult things to manage, but you have to for the sake of your child.

[kbandme]

With my daughter and I living in Georgia and him being in Missouri, how does all of this work? Visitation? I know there are several items in his past... kicked out of the Navy for drug usage and could not pass drug test to get a job. Can this help my situation in court?

[Fr_Chuck]

You will have to prove current drug use, perhaps ask for court ordered drug tests.

With him in MO, most likely he would ask for extended visits during holidays like Christmas and extended time in the Summer for the child to travel to MO and be with him.

Also if the court believes you are or are saying anything to turn the child against him , the courts will use that against you.

[ScottGem]

He has to file in GA since GA has jurisdiction. Since it is likely you can get supervised visits initially, he will have to come to you to visit.

Past drug use will help you restrict visits to supervised visits. But if he can show he's clean it won't stop them entirely. He may be required by the court to submit to drug testing.