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nanuchini · Jan 29, 2012, 01:09 AM

If kid get very poor grade and I tell him to study because he is not good in time management my husband go on kid site and scold me. This become like game for him. I want to take divorce but one child in collge and other in 8th grade. Feel like run away far and leave the world.

joypulv · Jan 29, 2012, 05:08 AM

What 'kid site?' Close out the account if it's the younger child.

It is very common, almost a stereotype, that many fathers show concern for the children's futures in a practical, unemotional way, while mothers are nurturing, supportive, maybe even coddling.

You aren't saying nearly enough here to figure out where your marriage problems are. It has to be more than just putting you down on Facebook or wherever it is. You've been married a long time with one child in college, and it would be nice if you had mutual respect, but it isn't all that common, and as long as you can communicate how you are feeling, and he can listen, then there's hope. When you talk avoid phrases like 'You make me.' Say 'I feel' and then 'I need.' What you need is respect, especially in public, and that includes the internet. Then you can work on it at home. If all that fails, see a marriage counselor. If that fails, get a divorce even with the child at home.

nanuchini · Jan 29, 2012, 06:05 PM

Yes ,for younger kid. We married from 26 years. Marriage is Ok. I am from india and he is Indian too. Only thing I am sensitive,and he ver very blunt. He is from Africa and believe in certain stuff. For example his father when died left lot of debt for his mom , sold all her gold and she did small work here and there and raised kids. I am educated and working woman and making sure about those things do not happen with me. We are US citizan. But all those years no talk like friend only orders or scoding me or insulting me. Basically I want love where someone hold my hand and talk to me not like he is acting. My only friend is Internet where I keep on reading. He is very mean with our older kid who is daughter. Younger is boy.

joypulv · Jan 30, 2012, 01:42 AM

So he is tough because he had a tough childhood and saw how hard his mother worked... and he is determined that his children get good grades and have good careers, I take it.
I'm sorry about the lack of warmth. There must be some sort of love in him or he wouldn't have married you and had children.
You have a career and get out of the house, so that is good. If you wanted to divorce him, you could. Very easy in the US.
The suggestion to him of marriage counseling might be very strange and objectionable, but I would give it a try. A counselor doesn't analyze, he or she teaches ways to communicate feelings to each other.
Now is a good time too to work on more ways to get out of the house, such as taking a night course or joining a book club, or starting a women's group at your house when he isn't around. Make sure you have women friends during all this.