[Dwenabing]

My husband has a female friend, she's a referee like my husband, they have been texting most days a lot. He has said they are just friends, and talk a lot about football, and reffing and have a laugh!! It came between us at Christmas, and I got really upset. He has shown me most of the texts, and not a lot for me to suspect anything is going on, but I don't know what might happen in the future. She's 20 years younger than my husband, and he as said he's not interested in her in that way. Please help me feel OK about this, and stop feeling jealous.

[joypulv]

Having a spouse who has a career friend is a tough call, because it can go either way. But you have to ask yourself if you might end up driving him away by suspicion and jealousy. Tell us: is the REST of your relationship good? Therein lies the answer, I think. If it's all pretty good except for the usual little arguments here and there - if affection is still there, communication, respect, enjoyment of each other - then let it go. But I might lay down a rule or two, and be very forthright about how it's for peace of mind and fairness. And ask him to really think about how he would feel if you started doing the same thing with some guy. And a woman 20 years younger would most certainly be cause for concern by any wife, regardless of what he says he feels. She might have some very clever ways of getting him away from you all planned out. I might even be inclined to have a bunch of people over for a sports event on TV and invite her, just to find out a little more about what she's like. If he gets all uncomfortable about inviting her, that might be a sign that maybe this needs more of a lid on it.

[Jake2008]

I see no need for your husband, and another woman, to be texting each other every single day.

They are referees, which is the common denominator, but when the game ends, so too should the texts.

It is inappropriate in my opinion, for a married man, to be texting any other female but you, unless it is WORK related, and only then, when the call is an emergency.

I would nip this one in the bud. I love Joy's answer. We've both been here long enough to know that texting is all too often the start of something more.

Flush her out. Do the sports night, and you invite her. That should send a strong message.

[Fr_Chuck]

Is it one or two texts a day, or is it many times a day. I agree tell him it ends now, period. My wife would have a simple answer, she would have thrown the phone to the floor and stomped on it about the 2nd text.

[talaniman]

The rule in my house is family friends only, so if she can't be a family friend, then she is out of luck. You are supposed to be wary of strangers. Period. Meet her, or he loses her, that simple.

[vectra619]

Same happened to me, my wife was txting an old friend, I found out, I asked her about it, she said there is nothing going on and there was nothing wrong in doing it, Everyone I asked said the same, it all comes down to trust and I realise that now. I am now living else where lmao. I hope to be back home soon will my wife and 3 wonderful kids :'(