[JohnTornebene]

Moved to its own thread


I am married now, actually separated now for several months and I happen to know two siblings of my wife have stripped in the past. One is married and the other is not (no class). I know that everyone has a past but the interesting part is that these girls were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. You see, their mother (my mother-in-law) is a die-hard Witness and swears that any other faith on this planet is doomed and her beliefs are the only way to salvation. One Crazy Biotch! She is so narrow minded that in the 10+ years I have known her, she has never apologized for anything and I'm talking about an apology to anyone, not just me. The Biotch has never been wrong a day in her life. I have to admit that if she, the disease and cancer of the family, had been exterminated a few years ago, my loving wife, children and I may have had a fighting chance to make it work. So... do I take revenge and expose what I know (pictures too), or do I take the path of righteousness and prove to her that Jehovah's Witnesses are a new group/organization that exists on this planet among many good groups/organizations?

[talaniman]

I think you do neither, as what purpose would it serve? Why is your mother in law to blame for the failure of your marriage? You certainly have nothing to prove to her.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, you are not really married and you are actually 12 right ?

You can not be a real adult, adults do not act like what you are saying. First she has her religious faith and she believes it is correct. Most if not all of the JW I know believe this way.
They have the same right to believe they are right as do the Baptist, the Catholic, and so on, each faith believes theirs are right and all others are basically doomed to hell or perhaps not as blessed in heaven as their group will be.

You will never prove to a JW that their faith is wrong, and it serves no purpose to bring up dirt just to try and hurt another person.

[kcomissiong]

Well it will help you end your separation... with a divorce.

[I wish]

Leave the past behind you and move on to other things in life.

[JohnTornebene]

Thanks for the responses. Truthfully, I know that I can't not blame her for our failed marriage, however, I do not want her to impose her religious beliefs on my twin girls. Her chosen faith encourages aggressive means to recruit people. Many times they prey upon the emotionally weak and use certain tactics to break people down further so that they can indoctrinate these 'lost souls'. If it were only that easy to just walk away but when children are involved it's not quite that easy. I know that revenge is not the answer but I can't just lie down either. Can anyone give advice on how to deal with a mother-law that tries to have control over everything. I feel sorry for my father-in-law, the man was at his happiest when he was on the road driving trucks and only had to be around her a few days at a time. How does one ethically, morally and effectively deal with a person like 'her"?

[talaniman]

I think the best approach is being a more positive influence in the life of your children would be a better approach, and do not teach them the hate and loathing that you have for grandma.

[grammadidi]

Right on, talaniman! In almost any situation kids will figure things out for themselves - based upon how they perceive the people and events that surrounded them through the years. If one parent figure is bitter, angry, vindictive, etc. they will be sure to lean away from that person's behavior and embrace the other influences. If you model the behaviors you want your children to emulate it will come back to you in a positive way. If you work at proving other people being the wrong influences your children are more apt to abandon your ideals and behave accordingly. If you are separated you already have less time to influence your kids. Why not concentrate on making that quality time that will influence them in a positive way?

PS: This works with spouses too.

Hugs, Didi

[north50]

No - you need to get over the apparent need you feel for revenge and move on with your own life. You only get so many days on this planet - and you're wasting time and energy trying to get back at someone you think hurt you.

Let it go - move on with your life.