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MMiller28 · Jan 9, 2012, 03:54 PM

I'm 6 months pregnant and I'm having issues with the father of my child. I have a 5 year old; who is from a previous relationship. The father od this child kicked me and my son out of the house 2 months ago, I had to stay with my sister but now I have my own place. I've tried to get along with him but since I'm giving my daughter my last name he is giving me a hard time. He was mad that I was having a girl, he cheated on me when we were together and he kicked me and my son out of the house so I don't think he deserves to have his last name on her birth certificate. He said he has hired a lawyer to get full custody of our daughter after she's born. I know he won't be able to get full custody but I don't know how he's going to be able to see her if we can't get along now. How soon after a child is born can we go to court for custody?

ScottGem · Jan 9, 2012, 03:59 PM

As soon as the court will hear the case. ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. In some areas he can pre file before she is born so the case can be heard as soon as practical after the birth.

But it is unlikely he will get primary custody unless he can prove you unfit.

Do you have any documentary evidence that he kicked you out? Anything to prove he was mad that you are having a girl? Proof that he cheated on you? Such things, especially kicking you out (which by the way may have been illegal) will not endear him to the court.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2012, 04:04 PM

Agree unless he can prove you are unfit, you will get at least joint custody.

The father can of course file for joint custody that would allow him to have his child 1/2 the time.

He will at least unless you prove he is a danger, get regular visits with the child.

You too do not have to get along and he does not have to even see you. You can arrange for a third party to exchange the child or do like many do meet at a police or fire house to do the exchange.

MMiller28 · Jan 9, 2012, 04:05 PM

I have a text message that says that he wants me out and that he's going to burn my stuff on the front lawn. I don't have proof that he cheated on me because the proof was on his phone with messages that were sent between him and the girl he had on the side. I also don't have any proof that he was mad that we were having a girl because he had told me in person after the ultrasound appointment that he wished it was a boy because he didn't want something that would remind him of me.

ScottGem · Jan 9, 2012, 04:09 PM

Save that text message. It will be helpful. But don't bring up anything in court you can't prove. You might want to hire an attorney, especially if he has one.

MMiller28 · Jan 9, 2012, 04:16 PM

I have all the messages saved and I also have voicemails saved that proves that he is very aggressive and mean. He was previously married and he had a file against him for domestic violence for hitting his wife so I don't trust him around me or the baby

ScottGem · Jan 9, 2012, 04:18 PM

Sounds like you may even be able to restrict him to supervised visits. Especially if you get a good attorney. He may even be blowing smoke about trying to get custody to get back at you.

Good luck to you and keep us posted.

MMiller28 · Jan 9, 2012, 04:20 PM

Thank you so much! You've definitely helped out a lot =)

MMiller28 · Jan 9, 2012, 05:10 PM

I'm 6 months pregnant and I'm having an issue with the father of our unborn child about what the last name will be. I want my daughter to have my last name and not her father's because we are not together, he kicked me and my 5 year old son out of the house(he's from a previous relationship), he cheated on me when we were together and been very mean to me since I found out I was pregnant so I don't think he deserves to pass down his last name to our daughter. Does he have any rights?

ScottGem · Jan 9, 2012, 05:21 PM

First, since this all bears on the same issue it should all be in the same thread.

The mother has control here is the parents are not married. So you can put whatever name you want on the birth certificate.

MMiller28 · Jan 9, 2012, 05:24 PM

I read somewhere that he can file a petition to the court and the judge can decide what the last name will be. Is that true?

ScottGem · Jan 9, 2012, 05:32 PM

Yes he can file a petition. And yes a judge will make a decision. But there is more than enough case law to make it unlikely that a judge will rule in support of a father in your case.

Changing the Name of the Child of Divorced or Unwed Parents : Divorce: New York : Neil Cahn Law Firm : Long Island Divorce & Family Law Lawyer & Attorney