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cassrenee6 · Jan 8, 2012, 06:00 AM

My boyfriend of 1 year and 8 months has sex with me and it's a great relationship but sometimes he doesn't finish having sex with me and finishes by jerking off because he is "too tired". He also watches porn. Both things bother me a lot because I than feel like I'm not enough for him and that he needs more than me. I feel as if him watching porn is saying he is not interested in me anymore. He still has sex with me at least once a week. I don't know if this is all just my own self esteem problems or what is going on. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together. I asked him if I'm enough for him and he said that's a stupid question of course you are. I really need help to figure out what to feel, think, and do.

Jwanda999 · Jan 8, 2012, 03:01 PM

My boyfriend does the same thing! I didn't think of it as a problem at all guys can be guys.. ALL guys watch porn. If its a lot though then you should talk to him about it. And he probably jerks off because he wouldn't want to get you pregnant? Either way you should talk to him about this.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 8, 2012, 04:50 PM

Jwanda may be right, But yes most guys ( I would like to say all men but I am sure a few dont') look at porn, those that don't will turn their head at half naked girls at the mall and so on. His looking at porn has nothing to do about you, it has nothing to do about desire for you.

cassrenee6 · Jan 8, 2012, 07:25 PM

He doesn't watch it a lot but he does sometimes and he says that I'm more than good enough for him. When I talk to him about it he answers me and says its nothing he has looked at it for years now its just to get him off when I'm not around. He gets mad and says since I'm a girl I will never understand. I don't know what to even think anymore I'm just so worried

talaniman · Jan 8, 2012, 07:25 PM

I think you are asking the wrong questions, and I doubt its about you or porn but that's something to find out.

How old are you both. Have you tried condoms, or birth control. Making a baby before your ready can scare the hell out of some guys for sure.

cassrenee6 · Jan 8, 2012, 07:35 PM

We always use condoms, I know he is scared about getting me pregnant. What do you think I should think about this whole thing? Am I over reacting?

talaniman · Jan 8, 2012, 07:46 PM

I think you do better not taking it so personally, and for now, until the communications gets MUCH better, you let him finish any way he wants. Why not? You get your satisfaction don't you? Then let him get his the way he wants.

That's one way you won't get pregnant, as he must not trust condoms as much as you do, and I can hardly blame him. Can you?

A bit weird maybe, different from normal, but hardly unheard of, and better than the so called withdrawal method of avoiding pregnancy.

Homegirl 50 · Jan 8, 2012, 08:00 PM

Get on some birth control. That would irritate me. (Him not finishing with you) That is strange
How old are the two of you.

cassrenee6 · Jan 10, 2012, 07:50 PM

I just don't know if I should feel it is because of me and that I am not goood enough for him

talaniman · Jan 10, 2012, 08:35 PM

Of course you should not take his issues personally. Its not about you. But it is about something that only he knows but isn't telling. Find out what it is, because he sounds weird, but is probably just different to your expectations.

Regardless this is the challenge of ALL relationships, working together to resolve your issues in ways that you both can agree on. You both have to be honest, and communicate your feelings to each other.

You never gave your ages, or said whether or not you got your rocks off during sex, so what's really behind this disconnect? I mean tell the guy you ain't happy, or don't understand. Don't sit and be frustrated all by yourself. If his answers solve nothing, tell him that, and ask him what he expects you to do since you aren't happy, or don't understand.

Or what's the point in being together at all?