[Danno123]

I have found my childhood sweetheart , we were very close through elementary school and I had to move away when I was 12, I really never got a chance to tell her goodbye, we managed to write back and forth for several years. Her family came to my home town to check out a college for her and we met for a night out. We tallked about old times and future plans. At that time I was dating a woman who I married and have been happily married to for 36 years. We never saw or heard from each other after that last meeting. We can still remember that last night.
I have thought of her over the years many times, and I put a message on Classmates, looking for her. Out of the blue, she sent me an email, she had just lost her husband to cancer about 6 months prior to that.
We started to email back and forth and then talking on the phone, this relationship has snowballed and neither one one of us expected in our wildest dreams that this would happen.
Let me explain that I still love my wife very much, and she is the only one I have ever been with. I do not want my marriage to break up, but I am torn. My first love has opened me up to new excitement, we can share about anything. She is also very adament about breaking up my marriage because she does not want that to be the reason we would be together. This new relationship has gone on steadily for about 6 months now and has become special to both of us.
I would like to know if anyone out there has had a similar experience and how they deal/dealt with it. We had not spoken for 40 years and it's like we have never been apart.

[tm1017]

Remember your vows that were made before God and someone that you professed your love to over 40 years ago. It seems obvious that the one wanting to break up your marriage does not have a significant other. Remember, what she is doing right now, trying to break up your marriage, will make you be the one before on her next round.

[laceelonebear]

I know it may seem that this woman still loves you but you have to think of how devastating it would be to your wife. I know that it may seem like love but you have to realize that your "lost love" doesn't have a husband anymore and she may just need someone to talk to, she is no doubt lonely. If she wants to break up your relationship with your wife then she can't be a very great person. You made vows to your wife and they shouldn't be broken for anything nor anyone. The fact that you question this relationship shows that either you have fallen out of love with your wife or you are bored with your relationship. I think that you should stop talking to this other woman and try to be honest with your wife that you have been talking to another woman and try to salvage your marriage.

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule- If your partner can't know all your friends, then you don't need them.

Over the course of my marriage I have met many people that there is a natural attraction to. MANY. While its new, and thrilling, and exciting, never cross the boundaries of good behavior. You may not have control over having feelings, but you can control your actions.

Just think for a minute, if your wife's old flame came back in her life, would you be as excited, and thrilled for her? Trust and loyalty are easy when there is no temptation.

If you can't handle yourself around others, leave them alone!!