[Happiness78]

Hi Friends,

Looking fwd for your suggestion.

We are actually school friends but got into relationship one & half years before. We are from different caste. I am Rajput and he is Jain. We are now 26 and obvious at the age of marriage according to everyone..

My boyfriend had spoken to his family about me 10 months before but his parents denied due to inter caste reason. That is why he is also not willing to take up this relation any more from that time onwards. But I didn't give up and made him understand that no parents will agree to love marriage so easily we should give some time to them also.He tried many times after that also. & Then I went to my parents and discussed this matter. My mom was fine but father and other family member said NO. After listening to this No he started giving up on this relationship. We both are willing to get married when parents' happiness is also there.We understand the value of relationships.I can't lose my parents and him also..

He is working in very good IT firm from past 4 years and I was also working from past 3 years but had to resign because my parents were pressurizing me to come to hometown because they are looking for a guy for me of their choice...

Now from past 2 months, I am at my hometown doing nothing and he doesn't want to keep any contact with me. I tried to forget this relation but I am not able to.My health is also going down. But still I have hope somewhere that he will convince his parents and come back to me.here I am saying no to every guy whom my parents are looking for me.All these time only my mom is able to understand me.. she is so good.
I have left hope to god..

Please advice.

Thanks for your precious time.

Thanks & regards
Khushi

[talaniman]

Many face the same challenge of these love marriages, when there are no agreement within family. Sitting there doing nothing but rejecting their husband suggestions has to be depressing. Especially when you are trained in a field of endeavor.

Is a compromise possible to allow you to make the most of the skills you are trained for while they look for your husband (one you will reject of course)?

I think the bigger more important thing to resolve is the unity between you and the one you love, as this is where the strength comes from, and without it, there is no hope, and if he is not as committed to seeing things through with you, then indeed you must overcome the love, and let it go.

Waiting for resolution and blessing is one thing, waiting alone and without support is another. Sure family is very important to you both, but if you two cannot face this struggle together, then what chance do you have in the future.

The conflict between the two of you must be resolved and defined, and committed to, or what's the point of waiting for elders to change their minds?

Divided in purpose makes you both weak to opposition.