[MarandaLaFlare]

About 5 months ago me, my boyfriend of three years, his sister, and her boyfriend of 6 years were all riding around in my boyfriend's car when we saw a couple of kids who had been harassing him for years. Now, my boyfriend was a good kid; went to college after he graduated high school, got a job, a car, nice things and these kids were jealous of him.

He tried to talk it out with these kids, and they ended up fighting along with me in the middle of 4 grown men fighting. In the end, my boyfriend was shot and killed right in front of me along with his sister's boyfriend who survived and is paralyzed from the waist down.

I have been doing okay. I moved away from the area, but I still feel so hurt deep inside. I've been through so much in my life. My mother's a drug addict whom I don't even talk to, my father's been in and out of jail for about 15 years of his life. I have three amazing brothers whom I practically raised, and I've never been away from them for so long.

As of December 18th, I turned 18 without him. We decided when I turned 18, we would get married. I'm so torn. People tell me how strong I am and how resilient I am coping with this. I don't know how to reach out. I need to see someone to talk with and get these horrible feelings off my chest. What do I do now..