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    Ichigo16's Avatar
    Ichigo16 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 3, 2012, 12:44 PM
    My boyfriend is going to be a father of another baby...
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a month, but we do not have those years behind us even though we wanted to stay together forever and I was even considering moving in with him when I turn 18.

    Yesterday he found out from his ex that cheated on him that he is the father of her child. How does she or he know that he is the father? Maybe it's the other guys kid and she is just turning to him because maybe the other guy isn't going to be there for his child... She took a test herself yesterday and it said positive. But its not a professional test. He hopes that the baby isn't there and so do I. I would love his baby like its my own, if he decides he still wants me to be with him.

    He hates his girlfriend. He doesn't want to be with her at all except to raise this child. He is taking responsibility, but I don't know what to do to let him know that my love for him does not change for him even if this baby is legit. He said before he found out about this baby that he wanted to be with me forever and be happy again. He didn't want this to happen and he is so sorry and he says he still loves me.

    But at the same time he is saying he needs time to think which is very reasonable in this situation. I can understand how scared he can be. I would be too! But I want to be there by his side and give him a happy smile when everything is seems to be falling apart for him. I don't want him to feel like I am abandoning him but I'm afraid he is doing that to me. He said that having a relationship with me and having this baby to think about is too much for him all once right now.

    Is it really stupid of me to think that we can still be together through this? And somehow I feel that this is not 100% true... I have this gut feeling that she is holding him since the other guy might not be there for her or needs money to support this baby. I just pray its not true. My friend is telling me I should stop our relationship all the way and be supportive but not with him. I want to be. I want him to know I love him and that I won't give up even if its not my baby.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jan 3, 2012, 12:49 PM
    Until the baby is born there is no way to know who the father is, so if she says she knows it is him,she is lying ( unless he was the only one she had sex with)

    Next so if he does have a child, he gets visits and pays child support that is his duty and obligation. Does not mean he has to have any relationship with the mother.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 3, 2012, 12:59 PM
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a month
    Feelings, promises, and plans made so soon are often the case in the very beginning, and I can only caution you to keep it real until you know this stranger a whole lot better, and have more facts to go on.

    At least be cautious until the whole truth can be revealed and that likely will be sooner, rather than later. Feelings, as intense as they can be now, mean nothing without the FACTS of this matter.

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