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Shonamona · Jan 1, 2012, 11:19 PM

Hey guys, my boyfriend went to New York for new years eve. He left on the 31st around 2. I tried calling
Him from 3 and he ignored my phone calls until 7, when he turned his phone off. So I waited and thought he would call me at midnight to wish me happy new years. Unfortunately he didn't even bother, and his phone was still off. I tried calling but off course didn't get anything out of it.

He texted me next day at 12:30 pm! Is that normal? I should be the first person he should call at midnight. What bothers me most is that after all that, he's not even sorry about it and doesn't even try to make up for it. He thinks that I'll just forgive him and move on. I know he loves and cares about me but I need more than that. It hurts me when I've spent two years with someone who thinks only about himself. I'm
So confused!

Fr_Chuck · Jan 2, 2012, 01:40 AM

How do you know he loves you and cares about you, this is not the way it is shown.

amicon · Jan 2, 2012, 03:29 AM

Is this kind of behaviour his norm?

If this is so I would say he doesn't care about you.

Time to have a serious conversation where this relationship is going.

Shonamona · Jan 2, 2012, 09:17 AM

Sorry he called instead of texting and he Said his
Phone died cause I drained his battery from calling. I'm so attached to him and feel so broken hearted that we broke up on new years day.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 2, 2012, 09:30 AM

How many times did you call?

Shonamona · Jan 2, 2012, 09:37 AM

Well before his phone died like 20 times but after his phone died I stopped cause it was dead I would try every hour but it was off

talaniman · Jan 2, 2012, 05:07 PM

Is all forgiven now, or what?

Shonamona · Jan 3, 2012, 02:15 PM

No.

Shonamona · Jan 3, 2012, 07:30 PM

I don't know what to do. I always forgive and I Feel like he takes advantage of that

mmresd · Jan 3, 2012, 07:42 PM

Tell him that it bothered you, and you feel like it was selfish of him to forget to contact you at midnight on such an especial occasion. Have you asked him what happened? Is it possible for his battery to have died, to have misplaced the phone, or maybe to even have fallen asleep?

Shonamona · Jan 3, 2012, 08:48 PM

I did tell him and he was like your making it a big deal. Bla bla. And he was like what's the big deal I called you next day. But it bothered me because I waited from 3pm until next day 12pm and he doesn't realize how much meant it to me.

shawnkielty · Jan 8, 2012, 01:25 AM

I think you're right

talaniman · Jan 8, 2012, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by Shonamona

I did tell him and he was like ur making it a big deal. Bla bla. And he was like what's the big deal I called u next day. But it bothered me because I waited from 3pm until next day 12pm and he doesn't realize how much meant it to me.

If you have expressed how it makes you feel, then that's all you can do, if you need further acknowledgment of your hurt feelings then be careful how you approach that because beating a dead horse is something that continues the conflict, rather than resolve it.

Accept his apology and see if he does better next time. Recognize your part in this for waiting instead of doing your own thing and enjoying it. Likely he never thought that you were waiting that long, or that hard.

At some point you have to reconcile your own feelings, and be able to let go, and move on. Tell him that he needs to make contact even with a dead phone, which is no real excuse. Then drop it.