[Don0306]

I lied to my girlfriend guys. We went out for almost a year and she asked me again and again if I had slept with this girl (before we were going out of course) I would never EVER cheat on this girl (even if hell froze over) and me being the typical male dumb *** lied to her face repeatedly what the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, one day she went bowling with a few of our mutual friends and somehow they started talking about the girl and it came out. She called me up and told me she never wanted to see or hear from me again. And after about a week she had a new rebound boyfriend.

A week after that we started talking again and she started telling me the good things and of course the bad. One day she started telling me about her and her boyfriend making out so I lashed out and had sex with the closest girl possible. Afterward I felt physically sick out of guilt and disgust that I started to vomit. Two weeks after that she picked me up from the train station as I was coming back home from college and it was like a million of the brightest fireworks imaginable while Handel's messiah played in the background. At this point she still had the boyfriend and told me how much she hates him because he isn't me.

The next day I went to her house and we hung out and as much as I tried not to.. IT happened. Two days later she broke up with him. What I mean is it felt like every thing was back to normal.. We would talk just as much as we used to and everything seemed okay. Until she started texting me less and less. Last night she came over and we talked about it. And she told me she just wants to be friends because I lied to her and she will never fully trust me again. I guess there is no going back? I still love her with all of my heart no matter what girl I see in front of me or what girl flirts with me I feel guilty about looking at another girl.

I'm a strange person and she GOT all of my little idiosyncrasies that no other girlfriend ever has. And likewise I get hers as well. She was the closest friend I have ever had male or female. But lying hurt her so much. It haunts me every day that she would have been okay with it. She would have even been able to get over me cheating I never did according to her. But just not lying. She says now she can't tell what else I'm lying about and she can never get this close to me again. Having said all of this. I ask, Do I try and move on or fight and get her back?

[Jake2008]

This is a strange situation to wrap my brain around.

You had a relationship with this girl, you had never cheated on her. She insisted on knowing whether you slept with another girl, PRIOR to her relationship with you, which is none of her business in the first place.

Suddenly, that flimsy excuse of finding out you did sleep with another girl, before her relationship with you, was enough to end the relationship- and presto- she's in another relationship a week later.

Then she bounces back to you, and then bounces out again.

My guess is she had another guy on the horizon before she left you, and simply needed an excuse. And you provided the 'proof' she needed to justify how badly she treated you. Even though you were not guilty of anything.

I can't speak to her character, other than to point out the obvious which I have, but, I can speak to your thinking.

And that would be- are you nuts? It isn't you, your behaviour, your choices, your attitude, that CAUSED her behaviour. She is the only one responsible for that.

Think about the person that you THINK you love, and then think about what love is, what an honest relationship is, what fidelity means (on her part), what it means to be mature enough to put another person's needs first, sharing values, goals, etc. etc.

Do you see that she is not anywhere in that ballpark?

I hope you cut all ties with her, and stop compromising what you need in a relationship, by allowing yourself to be treated as a boy toy to keep a relationship going with a girl. You would be doing yourself a favor by figuring out what you need, instead of what you want, and doing better in choosing a girlfriend next time around, for all the right reasons.

[talaniman]

To be honest, I would have disappeared forever when she first dumped me. And never gone back or let her cheat with you when she was with another guy.

Sounds like a lot of useless excuses to me, but she got her revenge or whatever, so yeah finally, move on. Don't look back.

[kingchar88]

Be-lie-ve.this is "believe",so some time it does not matter.but,honesty is prerequisite