[thatdamgood]

Happy new year to all reading this. I hope 2012 brings you peace, love, and prosperity.

What brings me here is a little problem I have been having with my other half, soon to be wife, in fact. Now the problem I have has to do with her social skills or lack of and how it is really starting to worry me. To give you an idea as to how-what-why, tonight is a new years eve party night yea wooop. But she doesn't want to do anything! Her friends are all having a party, but she is not interested. All my friends are having a party, but she's not interested! She would rather stay in and watch a DVD and go to bed. Romantic, yeah, but it's new years eve.

Worryingly, this is not a new thing and I'm really getting concerned that we are both losing our set of friends because of this behaviour. When we come to getting married, I'm actually concerned as to will we have any friends left to attend lol.

When I first met my partner, it was her final year of school. She was head girl, very popular, and enjoyed meeting up with friends or so it seemed, which was brilliant because I love meeting up with people too. She then went to uni and hated it, couldn't fit in, hated her course, and left within 3 months. That was two years ago. Since then, her attitudes have changed and she no longer wants to be as social with anyone, preferring to stay in. She has since started another uni course and is enjoying that one, has made a few friends, and we have gone out once with them. But thus it's still worrying me.

So, in short, what should I do here? I am with an amazing woman who just doesn't seem to want to be sociable in any way. When I suggest seeing my friends, she says no. No one speaks to her. There are 4 other girls in our group--5 now--and the newest one is already more friends with the others. Why? Because she was out there friendly, chatty. Mine just doesn't say anything other then hi. I suggest her friends and she doesn't want to go there because they are being b!+chy or slutty.

So basically, what can I do? Answers on a postcard lol

Oh in case it matters, I am 22, and she is 20.

[talaniman]

Hello again guy, but having had prior knowledge of your love life, I figure you have been with this female for a year and a half, maybe two years.

That's typically when you start to evaluate your partners traits to see if you can put up with the bad as well as the good. She will not likely change, but you both have to make adjustments, BUT never push her to do as you want. Most couples compromise to some point, through talking without pushing. She sounds like she is an introverted loner, homebody type.

Nothing wrong with that, as long as you realize that the differences are real, and its okay not to want to do as you do all the time. You have yet to learn how to achieve that balance between what you want, and what she is willing to give. Explore, maybe she hates new years, but fourth of July fireworks are great.

You find out, and adjust accordingly.