[deseriee]

My 16yr old son has been disrespecting me for a couple of years and its getting worse. When I ask him questions he ignores me. He will yell at me, call me names, tell me to get the f*** out of his room, etc. Normally, if one of my kids were to call me names they would either get popped in the mouth or get their mouths washed out. But a couple of years ago my son was diagnosed with depression/anxiety.So there's been times I've cut him slack and now I feel like maybe I've just been enabling him. He also uses his depression to get away with stuff. So what can I do to reverse these bad behaviors and start getting the respect I deserve?

[JudyKayTee]

It's probably too late BUT I would suggest an appointment to treat his depression and anxiety and then I would tell him what I expect, will tolerate and won't tolerate. And I'd stick to it.

Yes, you apparently have been cutting him too much slack if he thinks his language and behavior are appropriate.

Perhaps a counsellor is an option.

[awesomagic]

You should make everything a constant. Every day he has to do his homework, he has to take out the trash, and he has to clean up his room. EVERY DAY! These rules are not subject to his interpretation. He's trying to make you feel guilty because he has depression. You're not guilty. You're his parent! The sooner he realizes that life goes on, depressed or not, the sooner things will get back to the way they should be.

You sound like a compassionate person. I think that's wonderful. But you can be compassionate without being a push-over. Stand on your own two feet and make him stand on his. Do for him only what he cannot do for himself. I can't stress that enough. Bluff him if you have to. If he threatens to leave, then tell him to go right ahead. If he wants to call the police, then hand him the phone. Of course, don't be cruel about it. Just be very resolute with him. Tell him, "This is the way it's gonna be." Then stand by your word. Good luck!