[lonetraveller]

I'm a 20 year old male. I've had sex couple of times but I'm not getting any pleasure out of it. My girl friend enjoyed the intercourse even though it was a bit painful for her. I felt doing some kind of exercise. Why is this happening to me? Why am I not able enjoy sex?

[Fr_Chuck]

Not really ready ? Masterbating too much? Wanting more emotional love missing.

[DaniCalifornia]

Are you in love with your girlfriend? How long have you been together?

X Dani

[hjotshot]

Hello Lonetraveller,

As a fellow guy who's had his share of sexual partners, I've had similar problems. I'm also a recovering sex addict so some of my advice you have to take with a grain of salt according to my therapist.
1. Try abstaining!! Only for a little bit and this includes masturbation, if you have sex too much it really can get dull. Some of the best orgasms are achieved usually when you're excited about the moment.
2. Enjoy the intimacy of the moment. A lot of times I've come and I never really enjoyed it. This was usually because all I wanted to do was get the deed over with. Love and sex really is an adventure. If you can't enjoy the journey (the sheer intimacy with your partner) why would you enjoy the climax? Like hiking up a tall hill for example.
3. Make sure you actually enjoy the company of your partner. I found that the most amazing sex was with someone I actually cared about. With that said, you should be able to feel comfortable enough with her to actually want to do anything, and I MEAN ANYTHING, if you're not comfortable, you're less willing to try different things and in the end all you do is stress about actually having sex WHEN IT SHOULD BE ENJOYABLE. Trust me, if you really are comfortable enough to actually make it fun, you'll really enjoy the moment. If you can't, maybe you really should call it off with your girlfriend momentarily, especially if the only reason you're with her is because of only sex.