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    tom1990finch's Avatar
    tom1990finch Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 23, 2011, 09:24 AM
    Girlfriend went behind my back with ex boyfriend
    My girlfriend went behind my back and messaged her ex boyfriend. I found history of texts on her phone by accident and saw him say LY (love you) and she said U2. I read the rest that were still there and confronted her. I got her to end it with him there and then and she did and she was distraught. I want to trust her but I'm not finding it easy. How do I get over it?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 23, 2011, 09:48 AM
    Oh yea, you confronted her and she ended it, she ended leaving it on her phone. Now of course she also does not trust you for reading her phone.

    She is not going to end it just because she got caught if she really wants to talk with him.
    tom1990finch's Avatar
    tom1990finch Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 23, 2011, 10:31 AM
    She does trust me because she had a missed call and asked me read it and that's when I saw it completely accidentally. I believe she means it now because of her reaction it was very sincere. But now I can't get it off my mind. She didn't cheat but she said her reason for saying it was she's stupid and she doesn't really know. I don't know what to think? I just don't want to think about it when I'm with her because it's our first fall out and we are so good together
    Sariss's Avatar
    Sariss Posts: 1,471, Reputation: 244
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    #4

    Dec 23, 2011, 06:43 PM
    How do you accidentally find history of texts? You mean you were snooping through her phone, right?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 23, 2011, 09:30 PM
    This is more about how you handle this event than she was breaking your trust.

    I would let it go, and take her word, and not worry again, any secure confident male would. Let it go, and don't let it shake yourself confidence, or you will not have the good judgement later to stop any bad or impulsive behavior that insecurity, and fear will bring.

    If you stay cool, calm, and collected, and in control, you will be able to always do the right thing for yourself, no matter the situation, or circumstance.

    Now enjoy your girl, she said she was sorry, accept it, and let it go! I mean if she was devious wouldn't she have deleted that crap, and not let you see them?
    tom1990finch's Avatar
    tom1990finch Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 24, 2011, 01:58 AM
    No she asked me check who she missed a call off and It sent me to her history
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #7

    Dec 24, 2011, 07:29 PM
    Trust is everything.
    And communication. All the time.

    Hunting & investigating is only a sign of your insecurity. Shame on you.

    Ive had contact with my exs, many times during current relationships.
    In hindsight, I probably shouldn't, but there was never a ulterior motive. Just history.

    Im always honest. I have nothing to hide.

    My guess is that, there is more than meets the eye here.
    Everything else cool?

    Or is it just you? How long have you been dating?

    What's the plan?

    Oh yeah, I forgot to mention,

    No girl wants an insecure snooper that pressures her.
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