[band-aid]

I have been married for 4 years and the 1 year was real good but now he acts like I not even in the same room with him .he talks to other woman about all kinds of stuff but when I try to talk to him he acts like I not even in the same room less he needs my help for something he as a store and he looks at other woman right in front of me when we are there with each other because I help at the store if I don't he tries to make me stay home so I go to the store to work and I go he makes me work why the people he pays sits around and talks to each other he all ways make me :confused: because I feel like he don't even love me and I love him so much what should I do should I stay or leave

[talaniman]

First off nobody can MAKE you do anything unless you let them, and it sounds as if your talking and he is not listening because something is a little off here. People are usually treated the way they let themselves be treated, so I think you have been playing seconds, and do as your told. You have a mind and you should express yourself, and stick up for yourself, and learn to love yourself. Learn to say NO!

[talaniman]

Talking and doing are two completely different things and if you have no action behind the words, you will not have good results. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

[valinors_sorrow]

Band-aid, its clear that you are unhappy. What is not clear is how well you have made this known to your husband and I think that is what Talaniman was addressing with you. You need to make your unhappiness clear to him. And you need to refuse what poor treatment you can.

Now if you already have told him and he is disregarding your feelings, then more needs to be done. But first, more needs to be known here too.

I wonder about where you live and what the culture there says about the "status" of wives. I see in another post you mentioned he is from Yemen where the culture he was raised in might have taught him to be disrepectful of women, even wives, without him even realising it is. Do you see him treating any other women he is close to this same way? Is this partly because of how he was raised? What would his own family make of this?

I am not asking all these questions to be nosey, but its important to know exactly what you are dealing with here in order to give good answers. Clearly if he really insists/persists in treating you like a second class citizen, then he may need to be single again, but quite a lot needs to be attempted first before divorce is considered, to be fair here.

[band-aid]

We live in p.a when we got married he both sayed that if he wants to be with someone else then we have to go are own ways and yes he is from yeman but he been here half his life sometime times he treats me really good but that's when I don't say anything to him then he talks to me I kind of feel that he don't love me when I tell him if you don't want to be with me then lets move on so I and him will stop being hurt but then he says no I love you but I don't know if he really dose

[valinors_sorrow]

no he don't treat any off his family like this he is all ways there for them and he talks to them and he helps them when ever he needs it when his family is around we but a front like we are so much in love

Putting on an act for others is not good. Perhaps you need to solicit the help of one of his family members you feel close to in order to better understand or figure out an effective approach to him. Or if that isn't possible, talk this over with your minister or a close friend who can see more of the whole picture. I will admit, its difficult understanding your limited english here and you sound both confused yourself and therefore are confusing me in some of it too. Look around and see who is there you can confide in. Begin cultivating a relationship for that exact purpose, if you have no one at the moment.

[band-aid]

I know one around me to talk to no family and I have no friends I just sit at home or at the
Store with him he wants me to sit at home

[valinors_sorrow]

Time to reach out to someone, you know?

[talaniman]

If you could what is it you want to do?