[blondie18267]

Hi, I'm 13 and me and my boyfriend are at the stage where we have agreed to take our relationship to the next level with sex. We have known each other for almost 3 years and have been very good friends. We have been dating for about 7 months and think we are ready. I would like to know as much about it as possible and have been doing some online research about the topic. He is definitely not pressuring me as we have made the decision as a couple. As this will be each of our first times, I would like to know about the following questions ~
- How much does it hurt the first time?
- How long will the pain last?
- Is there a way to decrease the amount of pain expected during sex?

~ Feedback is required urgently. Thank you ~

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes it hurts, physcially you may not even be ready for it yet.
Mature wise you are far from ready for it.
For the boy, of course once he has sex with you he is a rapist since you are not old enough to give consent.
So there is no better way to say I love you, than make him a criminal.

[LetDown]

You're going to make him a criminal at only 13? And you're seriously going to lose your virginity at 13? The chances of you also making it to marriage as well and staying together for over a year are horribly low too. I think you need to reconsider. Plus you are just not ready for this.. Trust me kid.

[blondie18267]

Diverting from the criminal side of this, it is our choice. I simply wanted an answer about my questions. Besides, it was just an idea. And yeah I know that the chances of us getting married is pretty low but you have to start somewhere.

[Wondergirl]

but you have to start somewhere.

Not when he's at risk of being sent to prison as a rapist/child molester and being labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life. Don't you care about him at all?

[blondie18267]

Of course I do. But thanks for your input

[Wondergirl]

Then you'll say, "No, let's wait until we have emotionally matured and are physically ready for this. We don't need a baby at our age."

[blondie18267]

Yes, that is also a concern. Contraception is vital and we are going to be vigilant about the matter. Thanks all for your advice (:

[Wondergirl]

How do you plan to be "vigilant"?

[blondie18267]

By making sure we use protection? I'm closing this discussion now.

[Wondergirl]

The protection will be in what form?

[J_9]

Protection fails. Trust me. I've used 2 forms of protection properly and have gotten pregnant not once, but twice.

You are not ready to be a mother, physically or mentally. I deliver babies for a living so I see what happens to girls your age who are pregnant. Many end up having a Cesarean Section (where they cut you open) to have the baby because the pelvis is not mature enough to deliver a baby vaginally. Many girls develop gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy), premature labor. Two of my 13-14 year old mothers have even had seizures and lost their vision for a while. Are you ready for all of that?

Can you afford a baby? Can you afford one that may have to be in the hospital for several months requiring millions of dollars of care?

[ScottGem]

You may want to close this, but that is not your choice. You claim to have done some research but I wonder just how much you have done. For example, there are several threads here that cover a similar question. And the answer is always that teenage sex is a bad idea.

No one should engage in sexual intercourse until they are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to have a child. You do not qualify on all three levels. No form of birth control is 100% effective. So engaging in intercourse involves the risk of having a child. And your body is not ready. You are a child yourself, do you want to spend your teen years stuck at home raising a child? And how are you going to pay for that child? Do you have any clue what the costs are?

Do your parents know you are "dating"? Have they approved of it? You want to get a real answer, ask your father his opinion of your becoming sexually active!

Another thing that has always bothered me about questions like yours is; where? When I was a young teen, I would never have been allowed to be alone in a bedroom with my girlfriends. I certainly couldn't rent a hotel room. So how comfortable or romantic could your first time be if you have to sneak around to do it.

I doubt if you have considered all of these factors. I suspect you have simply romanticized sex as the "next level" because of all the media attention to sex. Do yourself and your boyfriend a favor--grow up first.