[taejme]

O.K. First time ever posting. I am in a relationship that for the most part is wonderful. However, it seems like his sex drive has slowed down a lot!. Now, he is under tremendous stress, doesn't get enough sleep, and had diabetes. All I know are contributors. We work opposite hours and I have come home and found that he has been masturbating to things on the internet. I have never caught him in action, he has just left the site up and towel next to the computer. Do I have anything to worry about or is this normal for someone to be less interested in real actions?

[shygrneyzs]

I would be honest with him and tell him what I found and ask him what is going on? While masturbation is healthy, is it replacing part of your sex life? If he is feeling inadequate in that area and using masturbation to make him feel good, then he needs to be honest with you also. You two have this opportunity to discuss this and it should be open and honest and without criticism from either one of you. Him masturbating does not mean he does not love you. You can use this as a springboard to explore feelings and attitudes.

Good luck to you.

[talaniman]

Yes it's a red flag to take action and communicate, not yell, or acuse,just talk more.

[Ash123]

Men's libidos definitely dive when stressed or sick. And while I don't think you've bee replaced, it does seem that it is serving a "practical" purpose. If you have been going out for YEARS, the flame may need re-igniting. If a few months, you might just ask what they are doing online and you would like to watch and try. The more game you are - the more game he'll be.

[momincali]

Make sure he knows that although the stress may be affecting his sex drive, you guys can find fun ways of getting to the same place, if you know what I mean. Don't accuse him, but talk open and honest and don't get defensive or jealous by any of his answers. Let him know that you look forward to your time together without putting too much pressure on him.