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jessy23 · Dec 11, 2011, 02:07 PM

I love cunnuilingus but my boyfriend of almost 5yrs doesn't like to do it. What can I do , I really need it.

Synnen · Dec 11, 2011, 02:45 PM

Well, I see 3 choices here:

1. Break up with this guy and find a new one that likes to give cunnilingus OR
2. Let him know he doesn't have to LIKE it, he just has to DO it or you will be unsatisfied. If he still refuses, see option 1.
3. Learn to live without cunnilingus.

jessy23 · Dec 11, 2011, 05:51 PM

I recently cheated on him with a guy who satisfies me but I love my boyfriend I don't love the one I cheated with. Does a good relationship need great sex

jessy23 · Dec 11, 2011, 05:53 PM

I can't leave him , and I can't live without cunnilingus what do I do , I need help

jessy23 · Dec 11, 2011, 05:54 PM

I can't leave him , and I can't live without cunnilingus what do I do , I need help

Synnen · Dec 11, 2011, 07:00 PM

You can't MAKE him give you more cunnilingus.

In addition, you've already mostly destroyed the relationship by cheating.

How about this? You tell him you cheated on him because he won't give you head and let HIM decide how the relationship should proceed from there?

And sorry--but you CAN live without cunnilingus. What if your boyfriend was actually physically unable to do it--say he was in an accident and could no longer move his neck in a way that wasn't extraordinarily painful to give you head? If it was inability and not just dislike that kept him from doing it? Would you be able to live without it then?

If not, then you have bigger problems than just wanting to get off in a specific way.

If so--then why can't you live without it simply because he doesn't like it? Is it a resentment that YOU will give head but he won't? Or is it something else? You need to re-examine yourself and your relationship if lack of one sex act will cause you to cheat. I'm assuming he tries to satisfy you in other ways?

jessy23 · Dec 12, 2011, 08:16 AM

Am a very sexual person when am having sex he is like the opposite , I just fell like I need more am I wrong for wanting more , he is the first guy I have met who acts like this so it's strange I don't know what to do. I can't break his heart , can a relationship be everything you want except sexually or am I going on about nothing.

Synnen · Dec 12, 2011, 08:58 AM

Okay--please don't use chat speak. It really makes it look as though you are not an adult.

And I'm sorry--but if you're not compatible sexually, then you need to either move on or live with it without complaint. You don't get a "cheat for free" card just because your partner isn't what you want in bed.

You have to talk to your partner and work out a compromise together, or you have to leave. Period. There are no other choices here.

Sex IS important in a romantic relationship--but only YOU can decide whether it is important enough to YOU to leave him over. I can tell you that if you don't work together to make sure that there is compromise sexually that you WILL come to resent him, and then the other areas of your relationship will suffer.

What does he say when you talk about these issues?

smoothy · Dec 12, 2011, 09:07 AM

Listen to what Synnen has said... she has it pegged spot on.

I couldn't add anything more or say it any better than she has.

JudyKayTee · Dec 12, 2011, 10:36 AM

I would venture a guess that the cheating wasn't a one time thing - note that OP is "addicted" to the boyfriend. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ie-618873.html

Never understand why people ask for advice and then no matter what is suggested, it's impossible. Can't live without oral sex. Can't leave the boyfriend. Addicted to the "other" guy.

So I guess OP lives with the situation as it is.