[crystal_icicle1]

Here's this guy, my friend's husband... Who gradually shows some interest in me.
I work with him, and he is able, respectable, and takes care and watches out for me.
I feel him getting closer, and I fear that if I continue to be nice, thereby encouraging this somehow... It will get out of hand and out of my control anymore soon.
He likes me, I can feel it, and he tells me so. He calls me, checks on me, and say sweet-nothing's.
I feel that I'm sometimes being given more attention and time than my friend.
He does not give her that much attention or interest as he did give me.
At deeper conversations, he implies fantasizing over me.
I appreciate the attention he gives me, the way he watches out, and even the way he adores me...
But I feel guilty, I feel bad. For my friend. And I have someone, just far away now...
So I told him to stop. I said already two to three times before, in a nice way, but he keeps on coming back.
Now, he said he understood. (but I don't know what happens next now... )
I can't be rude to him as he has been good to me.
Maybe I just needed to keep our relationship professional..
But I also value the friendship that we have and the gentle sweetness. I don't think I can keep both.. Thoughts?
(I needed your help, guys... ) thanks!

[UhnonimuS]

Hopefully he will not need to be told to stop anymore, but if he does,
Maybe consider being more detailed with him in exactly what needs to stop.
You could even be honest and tell him you appreciate the niceness and the sweetness from him,
But certain comments/actions are simply not appropriate within the work place period.
And because you already 'have someone,' I would advise being just as firm with this outside of work.

And this is no fact, but if a guy is hitting on you, I believe you determine whether he will continue to or not,
Based off your reaction to him hitting on you.

I wish you luck.

[DaniCalifornia]

Of course you need to keep your relationship professional: You're at work, AND he's married.

If you're certain he's coming on to you, tell him politely he needs to ease off, or he could destroy his marriage. Try to imagine how your friend would feel if they knew. They'd feel a bit betrayed by you both.

X Dani

[luluu]

While you may appreciate the 'friendship' that he offers, it is not nessescarily true friendship as he clearly wants more and I think you know that he would be having an affair with you behind your friends back if you'd let him. I think you should stop speaking to him and you owe it to your friend to let her know what her husband is really like. Think how you would feel if it were your husbamd acting thaty way with her!

[pahlp]

You are allowing it to happen. Tell him to stop or you can no longer be his friend and will tell your husband about it. Believe me when I say that if this gets out of hand and somehow people get the wrong idea the first question your husband will ask you is why didn't you inform him. You will put yourself in a position that you where hiding something and therefore up to no good. If this continues as it has it will end up only one way... bad for you.

[talaniman]

If he crosses your boundaries, let him have it, and let him know you will start trouble unless he does back off.