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tayta12 · Dec 7, 2011, 07:48 PM

My mouth probably made my ex girlfriend never want to be with me again. When we see each other now its nothing cordial at all.I try to be nice an act friendly only to get shot down. I pick her son up from daycare an watch her other son sometimes also. I guess my question is is it possible for me to win her back?

talaniman · Dec 7, 2011, 08:03 PM

Maybe, when she figures you have learned a lesson, and gotten better control of your mouth.

Are you still her babysitter, and errand runner?

vanheart · Dec 7, 2011, 10:16 PM

That's why exs are exs.
No longer. In your life.

That's what ex means.

Not sure why you are still doing stuff for her if she is your ex.

Silly. And lame.

Xene19 · Dec 8, 2011, 07:32 AM

Yes, it is possible to win her back, just don't go to quickly with it, with things like this you can afford to take your time so I suggest you do exactly that. Just be nice, and after a while she will miss what you had, also be careful not to fall into the friend zone as that is a sure fire way of never winning her back. But also don't be so nice that it appears you are attempting to emotionally bribe her into getting back together with you.

Source: Win Your Ex Back

tayta12 · Dec 8, 2011, 08:30 AM

O naw I don't run errands. I watch her sons for her. We went together for roughly 5 months. But we went together n 2008 for about 2-3 months. Da kids grew on me an I love them like my own kids. And I don't have any. Yea I got one son rite now as I type an ima pick da other one up later on. It seems as if she doesn't want anything to do with me. But yet an still she allows me to watch her kids for her. Is she keeping me around 2 use me or because she doesn't really know what she wants? I told her if she need me I'm here. Was this da wrong thing to do after our breakup?

talaniman · Dec 8, 2011, 04:27 PM

Yes it was since you cannot handle being a father figure for them without having a relationship with her, which she doesn't want.

Can you not separate the needs of the children from your needs for her, like you do with your baby mama?

I have to respect you though, for the way you do look after the kids. The sign of a REAL man in my eyes.

tayta12 · Dec 8, 2011, 09:07 PM

Naw I don't have a problem wit being a father figure to her kids. An I told her I'm not and a position to be wit her again becus I can't do for her an da kids like I would like to. Not rite now anyway. Even doe she probably wouldn't want me back anyway I'm saying. I actually like seeing the kids. I had her youngest son da past weekend. Everything was good until I drunkly startd running off at da mouth Monday smh

tayta12 · Dec 9, 2011, 10:24 PM

I could handle it I don't want 2 accept it. Unfortunately its looking more an more like a possibility. If it happens o well, ima still be here for her. I told her I'll help her anyway I can. I support her in watever she wants to do in life. Be there for da kids even though they aren't mine. They need a father figure in their life. An I told her I'm committed to doing that for her if she allow me 2

vanheart · Dec 9, 2011, 10:40 PM

Respectable, but you got to look out for you too.
Get out of your habit.

What your agenda, anyway? Her or the kids? Or you?
Sounds separate.

Whattya want, anyway? Hope you aren't hoping for a family w/her.

Don't get too involved with this right now.
Only will hurt you & the kids.

You may just another guy.

Aside from all of that. She doesn't want a relationship with YOU. Romantic. etc...

talaniman · Dec 10, 2011, 10:58 AM

That's like saying we can be friends, but wait until she dates another and that friendship gets tested. While your intentions are respectful, and honorable, being there for the kids, how do you both heal, and move on without the complication of wanting more?

I mean what if you date someone, with or without kids. How do you justify having an ex and her kids in YOUR life?

Your presence in their lives will truly complicate things later, I think. Just something to consider. Since you seem to have made a promise/commitment without an agreement.

tayta12 · Dec 10, 2011, 08:14 PM

Yea you rite. Matta of fact I mentioned that to her today. That I know eventually this gon have to end to lessen complicate things on her behalf. I have no ulterior motives in place. If we were 2 get together OK it wouldn't hurt, but if we don't that would b OK also. Ima be alrite. I dun kind of gave up on trying to get her back an am more focused on making an impact in her kids life while I still can. I don't know how much longer ima be able 2 go an get them an watch them. But I really do enjoy it. Seeing her comes wit da territory. When or if she moves on ima stop doing this for her becus her new friend might not feel comfortable wit that. I know I wouldn't

talaniman · Dec 10, 2011, 09:48 PM

She and her kids are very lucky to have a good friend like you in there lives.

I wish you all the best.

tayta12 · Dec 11, 2011, 06:57 AM

Thanks. I'm trying. It was hard at first an still is but I have control over the feelings I have for her. An if or when da time presents itself she'll know what she doesn't already know. She know where she stands wit me. I don't know where I stand wit her. I haven't since we broke up. I been and da dark. She'll be nice then the next she'll be upset mad feeling sum type of way. Was she confused over her feelings? Or trying to reject feelings she still had? Now its obviously clear she through wit me. But I want to know what the previous treatment meant.

vanheart · Dec 11, 2011, 04:53 PM

Dude, we all do.

But the past is the past. You may have to do that yourself, some soul searching on who you are & who you get with.

Ive had dozens of relationships, and single again. What does that say about me?

We all learn as we go along.

Just remember that you are always #1.
Use this lesson for later. Another girl.

You are right. She's done. She's not confused at all. Just you are.
The sooner you walk away, remove yourself, the sooner the confusion will end.

And you can start fresh & clean.

tayta12 · Dec 11, 2011, 06:13 PM

Me leaving it alone might be wats best. Like I said eventually it was going to happen anyway. But at least for rite now ima try an make an impact on her kids lives. Because they dads isn't about nthn. Especially her youngest one smh. He 2. he need sumthyn consistent in his life, male wise anyway. I don't want him feeling like all men will dessert him. That's da diffrence I'm tryna make. To let him know I'm here for him if he need me. His brother also. Shoot they mama also if she need it. But da time for this 2 end is drawing closer an closer. Honestly I isn't prepared to part ways yet. But if it calls for it then I guess that's what I'll have to do

vanheart · Dec 11, 2011, 06:25 PM

I know its sad for the kids.

But you have to put you first. Always. They are her kids, even though you care.

Don't let that cloud your mind. Let her manipulate anything. Or you, deal with that wall between her & the kids forever.
That will only keep you frustrated.

Maybe there is a way later where you can be able to still nuture them. With her willing.
If not them, other kids down the road.

The problem is that she will most likely try to find another guy and that's their father figure. Sucks.
Repeat the past.

Sometimes we have to just walk away.
Take time out.

Worry about you for a while. Not her or the kids.