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HelpinVa · Dec 7, 2011, 08:45 AM

I'm in Virginia. The court granted me a Permanent Protective Order against my husband. Permanent in Va. Meaning 2 years. I would now like to drop or amend the order. I would like to leave in the "no abuse" clause but have the "no contact" part removed for myself and my children. My husband is not physically abusive. He's verbally so. This was even said in court. There was no arrest and no charges filed. He is now seeing a therapist. Thank God!
This order was issued at the start of November and it's only December 7th. The emergency order (the first step in the process) was give on Oct. 16th. So it's only been a little over seven weeks in total. A legal aid attorney helped me get the permanent PO. I have no idea if she'd help me have it removed or if I'd even need her to do so. I called the Court Clerk's office and asked them what I needed to do and they said to come in and file to have the order dropped but that they are backed up so it could be up into Feb. Until we even see a judge.

My questions are... what are the chances of having this dropped?

Do I need to have the lawyer that helped me get the PO to be there to have it dropped or can I do that on my own?

JudyKayTee · Dec 7, 2011, 08:51 AM

I would not attempt this without an Attorney. You realize that if you get some of the provisions removed and there is another problem you will have a very difficult time getting another Order.

If either one of you go outside the Order before it's formally changed you are in contempt and could be arrested.

HelpinVa · Dec 7, 2011, 09:02 AM

That was a quick response. Thank you! I do realize that if we go outside of the order we could be arrested. From what I've understood about PO's in Va. Even if I contacted him and he responds he could be arrested. I don't know that I would be. He's not violated the order.

The lawyer that I was set up with was actually a Domestic Violence Attorney through Legal Aid. She was very unsure of whether I'd even get a PO because my husband did not threaten or commit any acts of physical violence. She was even surprised that the judge granted to PO.

Anyway, I'm not sure that she'd be willing to help me have it amended.

JudyKayTee · Dec 7, 2011, 09:07 AM

You're welcome. And, yes, you have a good understanding of the PO. If he has an order against you and he calls and you pick up the phone he can use that against you. Makes absolutely no sense and people use it as a tool to hurt each other.

I'd call the Attorney and ask. Maybe someone else who works with her will help.

You can always file your own papers and go to Court yourself - I'm just not sure what your chances of getting it amended are.

HelpinVa · Dec 7, 2011, 09:12 AM

I guess all I can do is call the attorney and ask. To be honest I feel like a bit of a fool for the whole thing in the first place. I was hesitant to even pose the question for fear of biting responses!

I've read other sites trying to find information about this and I've seen everything from,"All you have to do is file to have a PO removed (if you were the one requesting it) and the judge will drop it" to "It's very difficult to have it removed".