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    Lonelylady's Avatar
    Lonelylady Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 5, 2011, 04:58 PM
    I want to leave, but am afraid
    My husband has emotionally abused me since we were married. We will fight, which is always started by him (my fault ALWAYS), followed by days or weeks of silent treatment, then things are suddenly fine. I'm over it. He's selfish, uncaring & obviously doesn't love me. I know I deserve better. However, I am a stay-at-home mom to our child and am terrified that he would get custody of our child as I (at least right now) could nf support him. I'm happy to get a job, but am just so fearful that I'll lose my child. I remember one time he told me, "you have a pretty sweet deal here, me paying for everything." What normally happens in these cases?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Dec 5, 2011, 05:03 PM
    What normally happens... You get a lawyer and call his bluff if you really want to end the relationship, lonely. I don't know what state you are from but in any event, he probably owes you money,
    berrybeck's Avatar
    berrybeck Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Dec 5, 2011, 05:23 PM
    K well this happened to my friend,her hubby left her, but they had 4 kids, and she was a stay at home mom. The LAW hates men who leaves stay at home moms, so she got $400 dollars for EACH kid so she can raise them and hade to pay her rent and her schooling so she can get a job. So he went low on money but she was doing fine with the kids. Also if he hits or something then he can never see the kids intil their 18, but then it's the kids choice. But it also depends on the lawer you get. AND you will get a similar thing
    I hope this helps<3 goodluck (:
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Dec 5, 2011, 05:51 PM
    You move out, perhaps to a family shelter or women's shelter for abused women that allow kids. They protect you from him during the start of this.

    You find a job and find a place to live.

    You file for divorce, for child support and spousal support.
    But all of that money may take months to start after the divorce)

    He can file of course for joint custody, which he may or may not get. But unless you are unfit ( and being unemployed does not make you unfit) you will not lose custody.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Dec 5, 2011, 06:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by berrybeck View Post
    k well this happened to my friend,her hubby left her, but they had 4 kids, and she was a stay at home mom. the LAW hates men who leaves stay at home moms, so she got $400 dollars for EACH kid so she can raise them and hade to pay her rent and her schooling so she can get a job. so he went low on money but she was doing fine with the kids. also if he hits or something then he can never see the kids intil their 18, but then its the kids choice. but it also depends on the lawer you get. AND you will get a similar thing
    i hope this helps<3 goodluck (:
    I know you may think this is what happened, but there is nothing legal in what you are saying ( hardly)) first the law does not hate men, in fact men are now getting more and more rights to get joint custody much more often. Next child support is based on incomes by state law, so how much the parent with custody gets varies by incomes. Next no the man does not pay her rent and school normally, the one parent may have to pay spousal support for a number of years to help the other one get settled.

    Next sorry even abusive fathers will get visits, it may be supervised but you have no idea and are just making things up now. Also the kids never get any choice, they have to do what the court order says.

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