[Onestep88]

Hey everyone... Yes, this is another break up question. I have been reading up on other member's experiences... but I don't see any updates on what happened or how they are doing. I read a post by "ERASERHEAD"(Breakup after 7 years) which is more or less similar to my situation.

Here is my love sick story...

I actually met my girlfriend in Junior High School (7th Grade). She liked me at the time, but I didn't like her. It was just kid stuff. We bumped into each other again after graduating high school. Her high school was actually just across the street from mine. I took her out to get some coffee, and we caught up. We both fell deeply for one another soon after. Regardless of the fact that she was leaving to Vancouver for school, I told her I love her and will do whatever it takes to keep our relationship strong. I went to visit her twice in school. Seeing her again after 6 months for those two times was the greatest feeling in the world.
She later moved back home for school. I was so happy. There wasn't a day that we did not see each other. She has a very big family, everyone is very close. There were always family functions which they invited me to. It seem as if everyone expected us to get married one day. Four years into the relationship we always spoke about our future. Getting married, buying a house, having kids , etc. We were so in love and excited for our future.
Year five is when things in both our lives got rocky. I found out my father was cheating on my mother. My girlfriend found out her mother had terminal cancer. Just 3 months after her mother was diagnosed, we find out my grandmother also has cancer. It was a tough and emotional year. There was a lot of fighting(parents), crying and visits to the hospital. But in the end we both were always there for one another. Her mother treated me like her own son. I was devastated. I took her to all her chemo treatments and check ups. I stayed in the hospital with them during the final days. My girlfriend had also lost her father to cancer when she was four. I know I would never feel the pain and emptiness she feels.
Things have been rocky ever since. She moved into live with her cousins. She is emotionally unstable. She would get angry and yell at me, get annoyed at me out of the blue. Sure, we fight. I'm not the perfect boyfriend. But I know I try my best to be the perfect boyfriend. I would always correct my faults and apologize just to end the fighting. I did everything for her, not because I had to, because I wanted to. I picked her up from work, drove her everywhere, and I always save up all my earnings to buy her whatever she wanted. I just started full time at an engineering firm, along with school at night. I wasn't around much to hang out with her.
Being with her pushed me to work hard and do my best to be a great provider. We had talked two weeks ago and she had told me she was "bored", not of me but the relationship. I work late and on the weekends sometimes. Along with school, time was not on my side. I am starting grad school next January.. and I know that isn't going to help the situation. I took time off work and tried to leave work earlier to spend time with her to reconcile the situation.
I work long hours because I want to build my career as quickly as possible and want to be the best I can be for her and our future. I was also saving up as much as I can for her ring, wedding , etc. I picked her up for work just last week. After we both got into our the offices she texted me and started to swear. She told me I made her late for a meeting and it was all my fault. She said she didn't want to be with me anymore and that I was holding her back from everything. I was late because I have to walk two dogs (one which we bought together) and I was making her breakfast. I apologized to her and said I'd never do it again. She just responded.. "There will be no next time". We haven't spoken since. I see that she's happy hanging out with her friends on Facebook. I don't know what to think or do. I have lost contact with all my close friends every since we started dating because I devoted all my time to her. I feel so alone. I can't sleep or eat. I gave and been her everything for the past 6 years. I feel like my heart and 6 years of my life have just been ripped and thrown away. This is just so out of the blue... I'm just confused... and hurt...

Any input is greatly appreciated... thanks...

[talaniman]

You are of course in shock at the trauma you have been through because of her. Your world has changed, and the cold reality of life has crashed down on you.

Leave her alone until your emotional dust has settled, and hers, and the shock has worn off. If you haven't heard from her in a week, OR better yet two, start arranging a life for yourself.

You have neglected yourself far to long fellow, as you have no life without her. That's very unhealthy for a grown adult man. Let her handle her own boredom, and frustrations for a while. You have family to support you, and for now, that has to be enough.

Just because she is emotionally unstable means you give up your own dignity, and self respect. You really do need other motivations for happiness and success other than for her, or a life with her.

These are all adjustments we have to make for ourselves, so we can be healthy, and happy without someone else's permission.

Reality sucks sometimes. But we learn, and grow, and deal with whatever it throws at us. We all go through these things, and now its your time to deal with it.

Just ask your dad, or older brother.