[joemellie]

I am biological father.took care of my daughter from time of her birth till Nov. 1st this year.mother is getting married soon.I am working on getting on my daugthers birth certificate.she has given me time to get settled before having to pay child support(nice of her or is she being sneaky?)in the mean time can they adopt my daughter legally?I understand I need to get a lawyer and file for paternity but don't have the money for anything right now. Literally.what can I do to ensure that my daughter remains my daughter forever. On a personal note. I miss and love my daughter very much.this is the first time we've been apart since her birth and its killing me.she is the only thing that matters in my life.thank you for you help and easing my worries with your answers.mother and daughter live in Tennessee and I live in Florida where she was born.

[ScottGem]

Legally no. For a step parent adoption both parents have to agree. But if you are not the legal father, she may try to sneak it by.

You need to read this:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ry-344695.html

You need to file in TN and FL. This will help prevent an adoption without your consent.

But you really can't afford not to have an attorney. You should have gotten paternity settled at birth. If your daughter lived with you until 11/1, what happened then? Were any court action filed in FL?

[joemellie]

What happens if a man does not register with the Putative Father Registry?
If a man does not register with the Putative Father Registry before the child's birth or no later than 30 days after the child's birth, the child could be permanently adopted without the putative father's knowledge or consent.

Thank you Scott.this was very scary reading this part.she is getting married on December 3rd.thats what I am afraid of.that she will be adopted and I will have no rights to my daughter.im doing what I can to get a job and get legal help to prevent this but I don't trust the mother(sorry) and am worried about her "sneaking it by".so in Tennessee she can legally do this?and as her biological father I just lose all my rights?

[ScottGem]

The court will require that she get the father's permission. However, she may try to claim she doesn't know who the father is or that she can't find you. That's why you register even if its late.

I also added to my previous post so please answer thos questions.

[Fr_Chuck]

Also, if you have raised the child since almost birth till now, you in fact have a better chance of custody than the mother does. If she has not been part of the child's life.

If you are in the US, most areas have legal aid groups that may help you free or at lower costs

[joemellie]

Thank you Scott.I didn't see any questions from you though.and FR Chuck once again you are a blessing in your quick responses.

[AK lawyer]

... mother is getting married soon .... mother and daughter live in tennessee and ...

Most states require, for a step-parent adoption, that the adoptive step-parent be in some sort of a permanent relationship with the child's custodial parent. I don't see that Tennessee requires this:

"36-1-115. Persons eligible to file adoption petition -- Residence requirements -- Preference for foster parents.
...
(d) The petitioner or petitioners shall have lived, or maintained a regular place of abode, in this state or on federal territory within the boundaries of this state for six (6) consecutive months immediately preceding the filing of the adoption petition.
..."

LexisNexis® Custom Solution: Tennessee Code Research Tool

Other members of this forum are welcome to scrutinize the Tennessee statutes & rules further. I may have missed something.

[joemellie]

Thank you AK.my main goal of course is not to be swindled by my ex and have my daughter adopted under my nose.I mean of course if it means me having to file for paternity now even without a job then I'll do it.thank you all for helping a father want to be in his daughters life forever.

[ScottGem]

thank you Scott.i didnt see any questions from you though.

If your daughter lived with you until 11/1, what happened then? Were any court action filed in FL?

[joemellie]

No.like I stated.I am at "scratch" money car home wise. Nothing.so the simple task of getting anywhere is litteraly impossible for me.let me claify I was living with my daughter and her mother in Tennessee.now I am in Florida living with my brother.my baby's mother granted me time to settle before having me file paternity and pay child support(unless this was her sneaky plan).

[ScottGem]

I just noticed that you asked a similar question about a month ago. You were given similar advice at that time. Did you do anything with that advice?

[AK lawyer]

thank you AK.my main goal of course is not to be swindled by my ex and have my daughter adopted under my nose.i mean of course if it means me having to file for paternity now even without a job then i'll do it.thank you all for helping a father want to be in his daughters life forever.

We have given you a link to the "sticky" about the Putative Father Registries in a number of states. Tennessee is one of those states. If you file this form, I fail to see how she could "swindle" you by allow her husband to file an adoption petiton without telling you.

[joemellie]

No Scott I did not.I was under the grace and mercy of my daughters mother at the time.I was only given a ride to the Greyhound station shortly after those post were made.she was the only person I knew in Tennessee so asking for a ride to do anything was out of the question.I am in a situation now where I can do something.I know it sounds unusual but unfortunately its true.thank you for all your help.

[ScottGem]

So do what we told you to do.

[joemellie]

Just wanted to give an update. Will be meeting a case worker next week DOR here in Florida and even though I haven't found a job yet. Am going to establish paternity to at least acknowledge that she is my daughter. For those following my "case" I quit my job when my child was born to be a full time father. Nov 1st 2011 my ex-girlfriend aka baby mama and I split up and I moved to Florida they stayed in Tennessee. She will be married on Dec. 3rd and I want to assure that my daughter isn't adopted under my nose. As for child support I am hoping they don't start from when my daughter was born. Don't get me wrong everyone I WANT to pay child support. I WANT to be a big part of my daughters life. But since I was the one taking care of her while her mother worked and college. I was hoping my child support begins when I left the house not when my child was born(thats 5 years of back child support). Whatever the outcome all that matters is that I will always be my little girls father. FOREVER. Comments? Suggestions?

[ScottGem]

Did you register with the Putative Father's Registry yet?

[joemellie]

No I did not. Why would I have too if I am filing for administrative paternity? My concern was my daughter being adopted since I am not on the birth certificate. Isn't going to the DOR and establishing paternity going to prevent this from happening and keeping me in my daughters future as her father? Thank you for any help or suggestions you can provide.

[ScottGem]

You need to cover ALL your bases. It costs nothing to register and you don't know how things are going to work out for you.

You did this before, you ignored our advice and got yourself in a worse situation.