[prissp]

My husbands ex wife has finally decided to let my step son live with us. She has always had serious behavioral problems with him, yet he has always been wonderful with us and our other two children. They divorced in TX and while the Order states they are Joint Conservators, it is clear that she has primary possession, with my husband to only have visitation (weekends, summer, holidays). We now live in Virginia (military) and she lives in North Carolina, we never changed the order to either state because her child support would have decreased and she was more willing to negotiate longer visits if we left things as they were. My husband is driving to go pick him up from school tomorrow (as per her request) and she has even agreed to start sending us back all the child support beginning December 1st. The only thing is she doesn't want this to be finalized just yet, this is simply a trial to see how things go for her. My husband has been trying since they divorced to get custody, so this is absolutely the greatest thing to happen to us, we just want to try and make it final before she changes her mind. He is literally a different child with us, he is happy and very well behaved. However since he was 2 she has had him on anti-pyschotic medications for various behavioral conditions. Our doctors always say he doesn't need them, and her doctors( that she also happens to work for) say he does. She doesn't ever bring the medication when we have him since she knows we don't like it, although we have asked for it ( to prevent any reactions from stopping "cold turkey"). While this could go on entirely forever, I just want to paint a picture of why we are so concerned about trying to get this permanent quickly. I do plan on making tons of calls to lawyers tomorrow while my husband drives to get him (it's an 8 hour round trip drive), however since I have no legal standing in this, I'm hoping this site can provide some guidance on what I should be at least preparing. Also since the order states she has possession, is there something that she can send that would allow my husband to enroll him in school here. I don't want to ask her for anything that requires the courts until he we are ready, so would a notarized letter stating temporary custody work? I apologize that this is somewhat long, this has just been a long journey.
Thank you

[smoothy]

You have to petition the court for a change in the custody order to make it permanent. Only they can do it.

[ScottGem]

I would first talk to the school. Find out what they need as far as documentation to register the child. Since your husband has joint legal custody no further documentation may be necessary.

[prissp]

Thank you! I have spoken to them, they did say so long as it was joint we should be fine with all the proper paperwork (which we have). I just wasn't sure if the "possession" part of the order would be a road block. It wasn't until I was getting everything ready that I looked over the order again and noticed that. Again, thank you!

[ScottGem]

I doubt if the school is going to go too deep into the paperwork. A letter from the other parent stating they agree to the child registering in this school system can put any issues at rest.