[Midna11]

So my best friend and I had a falling out that lasted eight months. At the end of that eight months he randomly starts messaging me again. Simple little things at first, just to see if I would reply, then it became good morning texts, and finally about two weeks later of not really responding to him he sends this long drawn out message about how he has a thing for me and has all these feeling for the last year and a half blah blah blah. All I could do was scream into my pillow because I didn't know what to do with it.

I finally told him no way, I'm not going to be just another girl (he was the biggest man whore id ever met), besides as we grew up together we considered each other brother and sister, all of his family see me as his ''adopted sister''. All he could do was assure me it would be okay, we both was unsure about dating and he told me we can work our way to that slowly I'm sure. Maybe someday.
so we just agree on a friends with benefits thing...

About four days after our first sexual act together he got engaged,to another woman. In the beginning I made him swear he wasn't cheating on anyone by doing anything with me. He told me no, so I took off to Texas and we didn't speak for weeks. He tried one night but we did nothing but fight and fight. When I came back home he convinced me to hang out with him and just him. It turned into a long sobbing talk and... talked.. me into hooking up... worst. Mistake. Of. My. Life.. .

So now, here we are almost two years later and he's still with that girl he got engaged to. They fight often, almost never really happy, but here I am.. living with them cause I have no where else to go and he offered me a place to go rent free. Thing is we still hook up from time to time.

Recently over the last few months he's gotten real bad toward me. He does nothing but fight with me all the time whens I've done nothing he blames everything that goes wrong on me. Its like if I'm around he's not happy yet he still expects me to do him sexual favors? He ignores my every text and call. He doesn't pursue me like he used to. The longest we ever went was maybe 30 minutes,
he's constantly insulting me saying things like our gaining a lot of weight cow and our not as pretty as you think and he's always hitting myself esteem. We don't even make good room mates anymore, and that really confuses me because he's joining the military soon and he wants to live off base so I can live with them. If he hates me so much why does he want me with them?

So I'm terrified that if we keep this whole **** Buddy thing going we're going to be forever ruined,
but if I call it off and try to be just be friends will we just do nothing but fight all the time considering we only started talking again because he started this **** Buddy thing with me? Our friendship was already damaged to begin with and this just made it a million times worse. I don't know what to do and I'm so lost I'm not sure if anything I'm typing is even making sense to anyone out there reading this.. :(

What do I do? Find my own place to live all safe and alone with nobody call if off with him and just leave things be and not speak with him anymore until we can restart our friendship on a safe level? Or get up leave and never look back after giving him the scolding of the century?

I really need help with this. Hes my best friend my only friend and the closest I have to somebody that cares, but he kicks me around like I'm dirt, and does nothing but toy with my emotions. But at the same time gave me the best birthday I've ever had and comes home with little gifts that make me feel cared for, like a sketch book or a pillow panda or a bottle of body spray. When you have sex with someone for the first time make sure its someone that you can and will love for ever,if you don't thEn you just gave the most important piece of your heart to someone that doesn't care and they will always have it and they will always chew on it to hurt you. This is what I would always hear him preach about to all kinds of people, and I still hear him say it from time to time. To bad he doesn't know just how painful that situation is, when you find yourself giving away that part of you that no one else will ever have to someone who used it to hurt you and doesn't care...

What I need is two solutions...

one: what do I do about our **** Buddy relationship since he is doing nothing but being a selfish ******* who never cared about me or had feelings for me in the first place even though I had strong feelings for him...

and Two: how do I fix our damaged friendship?. I really want us to be friend but I'm so afraid its to far gone to be fixed..

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't salvage or have any friendship with him or them.
You find someone else to live, and move on with your life, it is going no where there.

[talaniman]

What I need is two solutions...

One: what do I do about our **** Buddy relationship since he is doing nothing but being a selfish ******* who never cared about me or had feelings for me in the first place even though I had strong feelings for him...

Stop having sex, leave, have no more to do with him ever, and build a life that makes you happy with out him in it period. Its a lot of heartbreak, and hard work, but will be healthier for you, and well worth it.

and Two: how do I fix our damaged friendship?. I really want us to be friend but I'm so afraid its to far gone to be fixed..

I agree, its way to far gone to be healthy, or fixed so just leave it behind, and never, ever, look back.

These are your BEST solutions

[mmresd]

No friendship there to save... just an @$$hole who like to sleep with more than one woman at a time. Make your life on your own, forget about him, and start fresh, you don't need this turmoil in your life.