[anonymous1111]

My wife is everything to me. We met in January and instantly fell in love. I've had 2 relationships in my life and neither were remotely serious. I have lied to her from the start about really really stupid things. She asked me when we first hooked up how many women I've been with and I lied and said some ridiculously high number like 12 because I didn't want her to think I was a loser. She recently found out this was a lie and it's lie upon lie I've told her. There was a female friend at work that I jokingly texted back and forth with stuff like "I miss you" and "I want you inside me" which by the way I sent, we laughed about the texts for like 2 minutes and then neither of us remembered them again and went on with our lives. These were intended to be a joke but my wife recently went through my phone and found these. She now thinks I cheated on her and there's nothing I can do to try and convince her otherwise. That, then she looked through my internet history and saw some topics on a message board I visited that contained pictures of naked women. There are a lot of topics like this and almost all of the time you don't even know you are entering a topic like that. Nevertheless she found that out and asked me if I had been masturbating when she was gone. I truthfully told her I hadn't, and then she asked me if I look at porn on the computer, and I said without really thinking that I don't, because I skim over these images and mainly look for people's responses in these kind of topics. My wife then pointed out my internet history to me and the way I try and explain it to her sounds beyond ridiculous and I don't doubt her for not believing me. I love my wife with all my heart and I've never thought about another girl that way since we've been together. I've lied to her about these really stupid things and she says she doesn't even know who I am anymore. I don't know how to explain any of these, and honestly those text messages do look bad without knowing any context and it was wrong of me to send them regardless. But for my marriage to potentially end over this is beyond devastating. I don't know what to do and I need help on how I can get her trust back because I can't imagine a life without her.

[PandaFox]

There is no way to make someone trust you again. Trust is something that you have to build, and when it comes down it takes a long time to build back up.
To be completely honest with you I think that your best chance is to sit down with her and come clean. Tell her the truth of every lie you've told her.
Anything you do at this point will be a gamble. There is no way to predict what a person will do, and it is very possible that nothing you can do will make things better, but if you make sure that you are right with yourself and honest with your wife then you may be able to rebuild the lost trust.

[zhierl]

Okay first of all, just because you're married doesn't mean you have no right to your own privacy. My wife has a drawer I don't go in as do I. I respect her and don't ho through her phone and she doesn't mine. Fact of the matter is someone that insecure to invade your privacy usually is the one doing something wrong and worry that since they are getting away it you could be too.