[pinay_18]

For starters my mother is a stubborn woman, and growing up I've always felt that I had to live up to her standards other than my own. I love her, I don't want to get married behind her back or just flat out tell her that I'm getting married and there's nothing she can do about it because I'm 18. My mom doesn't know the things I've experienced in my past relationships so she doesn't know that her daughter has grown up too fast in certain areas like being with older men for instance, being used, manipulated, etc. I want to be respectful about it because I care about her, and I truly do care about having her support. How can I tell her the news and gain her support? Even though I'm preparing myself for her to be against it, I really don't want her to be.

My fiancŽ and I have known each other for three years and started as friends when we met in high school. It took us two years to get together! He is in the Army so we have already experienced having a long distance relationship and we are both committed and loyal to each other. A year ago he asked my mom permission to propose to me, she said no, told me what he had planned, and told me to say no. He knows me better than anyone on this earth and has stayed with me, even when we were friends, when I hit rock bottom. I feel that I have met my soul-mate because I am able to make changes in my life for him and I couldn't bear to live life without him. I know he loves his career and I decided to be with him even though he will remain in the service. With my past boyfriends, however, who were in the Marines and the Army I wouldn't have decided to be with them in the long run because I didn't want to live in a military life style anymore (I grew up a military dependent).

Yes, I will still go to college. My fiancŽe is just as determined as I am for me to complete my undergraduate studies. We plan on first getting married in court, and then when we are more financially stable then we will have the actual ceremony. We can survive and support ourselves, but with me going to school and saving up for a wedding it can happen but we decided that it wouldn't be the best financial move to make right now. My mom is worried: I won't finish school, I'll get divorced in a few years, and that my future husband would be gone all the time. With his job, I am prepared that he will be gone a lot. That's why before I didn't want to be with someone in the service. My mother wants me to finish college, get settled with my career, and then consider getting married.. she's aiming for me to be around mid to late twenties at least. With school, I am determined to get my bachelor's degree it is one of my top priorities! And about divorce.. it worries me yes, but I am confident that if we remain loyal, in love, and continue to communicate, then we will be fine.

I hope I don't come off as immature for being scared to tell my mom. I will tell her, again I want to have her support and be respectful about it whether she agrees to my decision. With what I've provided, do you think she will support me? She and my father were married at 21 and had me before she even started pursuing her bachelor's degree. Although they divorced later down the road, they were married for 17 years. Then again we are different, I've experienced more than my mom than she did when she was my age. What worries me is how she feels about me getting married in court first.. that's one of the things she doesn't want me to do. How can I persuade her to look on the bright aspects of my engagement rather than on the negative aspects because getting married early is now not commonly accepted as it once was in society?

[pinay_18]

How do you delete this?

[Cat1864]

Why do you want to delete it?

Has anything happened to cause you to change your mind about asking for advice?

As a site rule, threads are very rarely deleted.

[Skinnies1]

First, you act natural. Then you get her on her own in another room, and say: I've got something to tell you. Then you explain how much your boyfriend loves you, how much he wants to be with you, etc. Then tell her slowly that you want or going to be married.



Did any of this information help you in any way?