[starrshine]

What is the age in which a child in the state of NH can choose which parent to live with? My son has been wanting to live with me for many years since my husband and I divorced. My ex has had five more children since then and is remarried. He doesn't spend much time with my son and my son cries that he wants a different father that with coach sports or even attend his games. My son is almost 12 and is now having difficulty in school. He is a very good kid and doesn't want to hurt his father by asking him to live with me or stay with me longer than the 50/50 we currently have as he is afraid of his father's reaction as his father is very difficult. The relationship is not abusive nor neglectful enough to make a change in parenting plan I don't believe. My son is being neglected there tough and has a much more nurturing relationship and environment in my home. I'm hoping that when my son is old enough to let the court know he wants to live with me he will not be treated pporly at his father's as it will be his decision if he wants to go there or not. My son has been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD and his father does not see any of this as contributing to poor performance in school and instead has "decided" my son will not play sports anymore". This is also troubling for my son as he has a lot of energy and it is important for his growth and development. My ex has also taken away the TV, video games and has prohibited my son to visit his grandparents until his grades get better. My ex and his wife are so resentful and angry towards me that they think and my son has over heard them saying I am a terrible parent. They will not listen to anything I have to say and are resistant to the point where I feel anything I try to contribute is more harmful to my son than helpful I am a licensed psychotherapist and I work with children for a living and this does not even help me in trying to discuss anything with them in regards to my child. Any suggestions?

[Fr_Chuck]

When your child is 18 and out of high school, they can decide where to live, until that time, he lives according to court order. If you or the other parent wishes to change the court order custody, there needs to be motions filed in court to modify it.

[ScottGem]

NH law on this (New Hampshire Statutes - Chapters: 461-A:6) leaves a lot to the discretion of the court.

If the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that a minor child is of sufficient maturity to make a sound judgment, the court may give substantial weight to the preference of the mature minor child as to the determination of parental rights and responsibilities.

In any case, nothing can be done without one of the parents (since you have 50/50) petitioning the court for a change.