[SingleMomofgrls]

I am 39 yrs old and married once. I was only married for a little over a year and he left when our kids were 2 1/2 and 3 months old. I got over it and this is not about him. :)

My kids are now 8 and 10 yrs old. I have dated a bit but it's hard to get involved in a man due to working full time and busy nights with my kids. I have free time on the weekends and more when the kids go to their dads.

I was happily single and having a great summer until an old friend, who I met when I was 16, messaged me on Facebook. I was excited and we set up a date. After a week it got serious and we started to see each other every single day. He spent almost every night at my place. We had a lot of great sex and it wasn't just about that. He spent a lot of time hanging out with my kids, helping with homework, playing video games and just talking to them and getting to know them. One weekend my kids dad cancelled his visit, and my recent ex said "his loss, our gain". Everything was about 'ours' and he used "we" a lot to.

It didn't matter what we did, we did it together. He was the one who would message me in the morning to say have a good day baby xoxox. Our relationship started mid August that just passed. Everything was going good and one day in mid September he told me he was upset as his ex girlfriend contacted him. He asked if I'd be OK with him going to see her. He told me the story of their relationship and how she cheated on him a couple times and ended up moving in with another guy. They split up in February that just past. I didn't know that he tried to reconcile with her in July.. just weeks before him and I started our relationship. Guess she rejected him or didn't work out. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him seeing her and that an email or phone call would be more appropriate. I told him that I can't stop him from what he has to do but it would upset me. He assured me it was over with her but he missed her and still loved her. He also said he wouldn't go back to her and that he really wanted to be with me. We never discussed her again.

With the stupid mutual friends, I discovered the guy his ex was with. On Halloween I noticed they split up. My guy's ex was now single. I felt totally uncomfortable with it. He never mentioned it and didn't know that I knew.


Things got a little weird the weekend following that. He didn't spend much time with me and told me he had to go do laundry at home and then he was visiting a couple buddies houses. I was OK with that... every guy needs their male friends. He didn't call me until 7pm.. and he was drunk. He said he really wanted to see me and asked me to pick him up. Being a good girlfriend, I went to pick him up and brought him to my place. He passed out on my couch a couple hours later. The next day I dropped him off and never heard from him until Monday morning with the normal FB message saying have a great day baby xoxox. He asked to come over that night to see my oldest play at her soccer game. He stayed over night and everything was good.. back to normal. Tuesday night was about the same. He was super busy at work so didn't get many emails from him. He did come over and stay Tuesday.

Wednesday started normal too but he didn't react to my flirty emails. He came over and we went to the kids dance. Things were good. When I got them to bed and sat with him on my couch he told me he had to talk to me. That's when he told me at the 3 month mark he just didn't think he cared about me as much as he should. He said he knows how I feel about him and he didn't feel as strong as I did. I asked him if it had something to do with his ex being recently single?. he was a bit dumbfounded but said it had nothing to do with that. I didn't say much.. what could I say. He said he still really liked me and hopes we can remain friends. I eventually told him to leave and he did.

As most people would... I sent him an email asking why he'd even ask to be friends and how badly he hurt me when I love him so much. He only responded once saying he hoped I could reconsider and still be friends.

Since then.. no contact from him. I changed my relationship status on FB and put updates on it of how upset I was but I never bad mouthed him and just wanted the support of my friends on there. I deleted every pic of him and I on my page. There were still two on his page which he put up. I couldn't delete them. Pics of him and I that he put on a couple months ago.

Even today... our pic is still on there and he hasn't deleted me as a friend.

I don't know if I should be hopeful that he'll see that he made a mistake and ask me back? I think he's confused about the ex and I need to give him time to get over her. Will he also forget me if he gets over her? Will he ever want me back? He really loved my kids and carries photo's of them in his wallet.

What do I do now? False hope sucks.

His Mom gave me some furniture which is in his garage. I haven't arranged to pick it up. He told me that last night that he still wants me to have it and so did his mom.

At my age, it's hard to be single and it's even harder to meet new people. Right now I don't want to. I want him back if I knew his heart was in it. I don't understand how he could sleep with me two nights in a row right before he broke it off with me?

I'm heartbroken and don't know what I should be thinking.

[GGertie]

Sugar, you say you are 39 years old, but if you had not mentioned that, I would have guessed your age (and that of your fellow in question) to be - well, 16! You have renewed an old relationship just as if you were the age when you had that relationship.

Let him go. Without him underfoot, you should be able to look at the situation with a bit more maturity. It may be that he will be doing the same thing and decide to reconnect. If so, while it might be fun to feel like you've returned to the days of your youth, try to put the relationship on an adult level. You aren't 16 any more and neither is he.