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My boyfriend hardly initiates sex...
We've been together for two years and recently had a little girl who is three months and he just started a new job where he works 4 am- 8 am... but when we first got together we had so much sex it was ridiculous we were like rabbits... and I gained quite a bit of weight with my pregnancy and lost my sex drive while pregnant but after the baby I have been losing weight and my sex drive is back full force. When I was pregnant I caught him jacking off to porn a couple times and was really upset because I have low confidence. Now it feels like he is always just falling asleep or playing video games and when the baby is down for a nap all I want is sex! And I'm tired of initiating it.. he gets really into it when I do but I Don't want to be the only one doing anything! He will initiate it maybe once a week and I feel like its because I ***** at him about doing it more. Other than that I am always asking for it or climbing on top of him. Has happened? Could it be my appearance? Its to the point that if I see a couple having sex in a movie I get jealous and pissed off because MY OWN boyfriend doesn't do that. And when we do, its wham bam thank you ma'am, no romance or nothing. We have a baby and I love him but I can't live like this much longer I need to feel desired and sought... what is going on here?
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You have been together for two years, you have a baby together, your lack of sex is a problem.
Ask him - ask him the same way you'd ask him about any other problem. Maybe he's tired, maybe he's not happy with your after-the-baby body (not that that makes his feelings right), maybe masturbating is faster and more pleasurable, maybe he doesn't feel well. It could be a thousand things. The only way to know for sure is to ask him - not in a confrontational manner, just in a "what's going on here" way. |
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I think everyone can agree with the above. Remember though, you did have a baby a few months ago and Babies change everything. But after awhile things get better - The mother's body, the tired parents, hormones, the adjusting to the new addition. Things can get a little crazy for awhile, but I have hope that if you talk to each other about it, things will get better :)
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