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jourdynwilson · Nov 11, 2011, 04:40 PM

My daughter is 3 years old he dad has only seen her 4 times and that he started this past may in 2011 and that's it. I'm getting married in a few weeks and my husband is wanting to adoped her he is in the army so it needs to be done. What is the process that I need to do in order to get it done

ScottGem · Nov 11, 2011, 05:03 PM

First, most states require that you be married at least a year before a step parent adoption be granted. Second, If the father doesn't consent it will be much harder to get a court to agree.

I'm assuming the need is that your fiancée is being deployed and you want go with him.

You NEED to consult an attorney to have any chance of getting this done in time. But I suspect the chances are slim. Have you asked the father for his consent? Is there a court order for visitation?

Lobo1966 · Nov 15, 2011, 12:47 PM

You are going to have to get a lawyer and bring a complaint concerning the father's rights to his children. If the father doesn't wish to give up his rights (which you have inciuated), this decision is going to have to be seen by a magistrate and decided by him/her. Good luck

JudyKayTee · Nov 15, 2011, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by Lobo1966

You are going to have to get a lawyer and bring a complaint concerning the father's rights to his children. If the father doesn't wish to give up his rights (which you have inciuated), this decision is going to have to be seen by a magistrate and decided by him/her. Good luck

Please be a little more careful before posting. It's not clear what you are saying. A complaint? Inciuated? Magistrate? A Judge cannot force the father to give sign over his rights and allow the children to be adopted unless there are overwhelming circumstances which I don't see here.

"We" take great pride in the quality of our answers.

AK lawyer · Nov 15, 2011, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I don't know what you are saying. A complaint? Inciuated? Magistrate? ...

A Judge cannot force the father to give sign over his rights ...

Perhaps Lobo1966 means this:

"complaint" = petition?

"Inciuated" = incited? Meaning that if the father is notified he may do something he would not have bothered with otherwise? Perhaps.

"Magistrate" = judicial officer assigned to relatively simple matters like adoptions? Possibly.

True, a judge "cannot force the father to give sign over his rights", but the father's right to object can be waived or dispensed with in many jurisdictions. We would have to know which state (or wherever) this is in order to say.

ScottGem · Nov 15, 2011, 01:09 PM

My guess is inciuated means insinuated. Given that, I think Lobo gave correct advice since it was essentially the same as mine, that the OP get an attorney to bring the petition to court and the court will make a decision.

But there are a lot of questions raised by the OP's post, that are needed for more complete advice.

Lobo1966 · Nov 15, 2011, 01:09 PM

Thank you AK Lawyer, that is exactly what I was referring too. However, the mother inSinuated that the father did not wish to give up his parental rights. Please forgive me for not supplying a more clear and concise answer, I will do so in the future. Thanks

JudyKayTee · Nov 15, 2011, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

But there are a lot of questions raised by the OP's post, that are needed for more complete advice.

I'd certainly like to know what State and also if the "natural" father has visitation. Just filling in blanks but if father does have visitation OP may not be able to relocate with "new" husband. Maybe that's the question/problem. Does he have visitation and not exercise it? Something else?

I'm foggy about the adoption part - why it's necessary. Not that it's NOT a good idea, just that the haste and time frame make me wonder what the situation is.

I, of course, am going on what was posted, not what I'm reading into it.

ScottGem · Nov 15, 2011, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I'm foggy about the adoption part - why it's necessary. Not that it's NOT a good idea, just that the haste and time frame make me wonder what the situation is.

Since the OP hasn't returned in 4 days, I'm not sure if we will ever know. However, my guess is that the new husband is being deployed overseas and the OP wants to go with him and bring the child. But without the father's consent, she probably will not be able to get a passport or permission to take the child out of the country. Having the husband adopt will solve both problems, but the likelihood of that happening quickly is very small.

AK lawyer · Nov 15, 2011, 02:06 PM

I think I have said this here before: sometimes reading these posts is like one of those "CSI" shows. Reading these questions can be an exercise in forensic skill.

If the problem is getting the child's passport for an imminent overseas deployment, an adoption will not work; the mother isn't even married to the would-be step-parent adopter yet.

But I'm not sure such a deployment is suggested. OP wrote that her fiancé "is in the army so it needs to be done". This could mean that the Army requires an adoption for some other reason: housing benefits, etc. Hard to say.

JudyKayTee · Nov 15, 2011, 02:10 PM

I sometimes have more of a problem with the answer than with the question.

The OP hasn't been back, of course, but I think the adoption could be very difficult. In re-reading this the question says: "3 years old he dad has only seen her 4 times and that he started this past may in 2011." I am taking that to mean the father has seen the child only 4 times since this past May. Without knowing the circumstances it APPEARS he is exercising visitation.

That brings us back to getting the permission of the birth father.