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bs2001 · Nov 9, 2011, 11:08 AM

I am 27 years old and have a 10-year-old stepson and 11-month-old daughter. My husband is only a year older than I am and feels that I should be treated like his 10-year-old. Our rule is, if you are told to do something more than once, the second time is told with a belt. My husband thinks that I should get the "spanking" for not listening and doing what he tells me to do.

He has also told his son that he doesn't have to do anything I tell him to do. I work a full-time job 10 hours a day and 5 hours on Saturday, and he works a part-time job as an assistant manager. He has quit multiple jobs since our daughter was born and yet I am the one getting treated like the irresponsible one. Whenever I try to be the bigger man, I always get pushed back down to a child's level and told that I need to drop my attitude, yet he can get mad over something as stupid as the wrong brand of soda and get irritated about it (and I mean furious, like seeing red).

He also thinks that I don't know how to take care of our kids. I do the laundry, make sure the kids have their bath every night, and feed them. How can I get him to see that he has his faults and start treating me like I am an adult and not his child?

Member.0 · Nov 9, 2011, 11:19 AM

Your husband should respect you and not treat you like a 10 year old ! The rule you have about spanking with the belt is not a good idea too , your children could be doing something e.g.. Changing there clothes.

Your husband should not think that because your not doing ' what he says '
Your husband should not TREAT you like a ten year old !
Your husband should not compare you to a ten year old

Seriously, if I was in your situation I would leave him.

0rphan · Nov 9, 2011, 11:23 AM

Are you saying that your husband uses the belt on you,also his son? This is very wrong and you must seek professional help.
He wants to be in control and will use what ever method he so chooses.You must no longer allow this to happen to yourself or his son and maybe your daughter when she is not much older.

If he will not communicate with you to sort this out,you can go to a marriage guidance councillor yourself-if you think you marriage is worth saving and he can change his ways toward all of you,if not then get as far away from him as you can.Go stay with friends or family until this is sorted out.

Ask yourself "do i love this man enough to try saving our marriage," if the answer is no then leave with your children,go to a safe house if necessary.

No man should lay a finger on any child or his wife.Do not put up with this a moment longer get some help now...

Fr_Chuck · Nov 9, 2011, 02:34 PM

If he uses a belt on you, you call the police and have him arrested, actually if he is using a belt on a child you do the same thing. You demand he stop and tell him where the door is if he does not like it. Also a few weeks on the couch may not hurt him either.

You take control and don't allow him to walk over you.

odinn7 · Nov 9, 2011, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by bs2001

How can I get him to see that he has his faults and start treating me like I am an adult and not his child?

Honestly, you probably can't. A guy like that not only sounds like he is set in his ways but also sounds like a complete and unreasonable jerk.

So this belt thing... you say it's "our punishment"... nobody should be hit with a belt and like Fr_Chuck said, if it happens to you or the kids, the police should be called. Actually, I find it kind of crazy that anyone would put up with that, but anyway...

You tell him he has to respect you or get out. Personally, I would have been gone long ago. Nobody needs to deal with someone like that.