[poupsi]

We recently separated and are living in separate places he got out of prison after serving 11 yrs. He won't let me come to his place and he doesn't want to have sex because he blames me for every things. He says that he wants to know that our marriage is going to work before he has sex again because he is tired of the rollercoaster ride. But he is the one who wanted his freedom

[Cat1864]

How long were you married before he went to prison?How long has he been out?

How was your relationship while he was incarcerated? Were there any major upsets during that time? Were any plans made about what life would like when he was released? Are you worried that he is making other plans with other women?

It might be a good idea to essentially begin again because he probably is not the same man he was before he went to prison. He probably needs to get used to being free again and getting his life on-track. Give him some time to adjust. You might think about marriage counseling if you aren't already going.

About all you can do at this point is to give him time and keep communications open. If he is willing, work together to rebuild your relationship. Or you can let it go and build another life without him.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry he was in for 11 years and does not want to have sex ?
Most don't wait to get out of the bus station with a hooker to have sex after a couple of years.

There is more to this in my opinion. But after 11 years, start dating and start finding out about each other.

[poupsi]

He made a lot of promises while he was locked up he said he would serve the lord and he just bull****ed me. He doesn't want to do counseling he won't let me know where his apartment is and he just wants to meet me in grocery store parking lots or parks for no more then an hour and I'm the wife

[poupsi]

My husband doesn't want to have sex he doesn't want me to know where his apartment is and he just wants to meet me in grocery store parking lots and parks for no more then one hour. He doesn't call to take me out but he will go to church on Sunday I think that is for appearance purposes. He just doesn't seem to be in love with me and I waited 11 yrs for him while he was in prison.

[advice101]

Im srry I don't mean to be rude but *fr chuck is right 11yrs and the first thing would be sex... Maybe some things occurred in those 11yrs of prison.. Mentally, and "physically".. That's my first thought. Even if he blamed you for everything... Someone may have come through the backdoor and now he's confused.. Im being serious.. Srry if this comment is offensive.. Just trying to be honest..

[advice101]

He is hiding something... Either embarrassing or illegal.. Again these are my thoughts and might be completely off but the sex thing and parking lot dates are really suspicious.. Good luck but I think you need to really try to talk to him, suggest reasons and look for his reactions.. Btw 11yrs is a long time... enough to change a person, in normal environment and especially in prison environment.. again srry I really don't mean to be offensive.