27 and could use a little help from some friends?
HI everyone, I'm 27 years old and at a very difficult point in my life. I was the person all through high school and college had a ton of friends. In college I developed a serious eating disorder, (stemming from an abusive relationship) and battled for a number of years, during that time I still had a lot of friends, but knew secretly I was labeled as the "girl with the eating disorder" but I stayed strong, and ignored what other people said.
After college and multiple rehabs later, I ended my 5 year battle with food and ended my disorder cold turkey. I had enough of wasting my life and did not want that to be my future. That day was the happiest day of my life and now 3 years recovered. After my battle was over I was finally ready to make up for lost time, regain friendships and move on to live a normal life.
However my life has been anything but normal, when I was finally ready to restart my life (at 24), everyone in my life was gone. My group of amazing girlfriends, had given up on me, it was too little too late and although I was never intentionally hurting them by being sick, they didn't even care to try to when things were getting better for me. I accept that. I accept they didn't choose to be friends with someone who was sick and I will forever own that.
But I am not a bad person, I never was, and making friends after my eating disorder has been the hardest process of my life. I accepted the things I can not change, I'm a fighter and will not let life's hard times bring me down, but I truly think my eating disorder ruined all chances of me having friends. Believe me I tried, I have work friends but at the end the work day, everyone goes their separate ways to their own friends.
I made sincere amends to my true college friends but they have their lives now and are OK with me not being apart of it. I've tried making new friends who a few have turned out to just be bad people. I don't want to force having friends, I am very grateful for my family. But I am not a terrible person, I just had a terrible situation happen to me at one of the most important times of my life, and I'm just sad that after 3 years, I have a phone book of numbers, but not one person to call on a Friday night.
Any advice you have for me I would appreciate hearing.
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