[amw227]

My girlfriend and I met a year ago during our freshmen year of college. We fell in love and were inseparable for the longest time. We were attached at the hip and moved in with each other for our sophomore year and of course we had our fights. A little after our one-year, we started to get more bitter towards each other. We would get more jealous, more annoyed, and things just were not right between us, but we both still knew that we were still deeply in love. After a stupid fight on Halloween, she called me and told me we had to talk about something, and I knew what it was. She told me that we needed time apart.

Now, this would be even more devastating if it weren't for this fact: She dated a guy (who treated her like dirt) for 4 years through high school. She then started dating me shortly after she broke it off with this guy, so she has never been on her own and has always leaned on someone else. She told me that she has a gut feeling that she should see what it is like to be independent, lean on herself, and even find out who she is again. She told me that if we are meant to be, we will end up together. I was skeptical and thought she did to talk to other guys, but I know for a fact that is not the case at all.

As much as I hate everything about this break up, I think it is a good thing. I have faith in my heart that she will come back to me, but I do not want to get my hopes up. I have a gut feeling that she is still deeply in love with me, which makes me feel a little bit better. I have also talked to her close friends, and they have all told me that they are not even sure what she wants exactly, but they can see us getting back together and that she still loves me very much. I talked to her in person for the first time the other day, and we parted ways with this conversation:

Me: As much as it kills me to let you go, I want you to experience what you think you need to experience. Go do what you want and be yourself. Go out and party, see other guys, and experience the world. I will do the same and I have my own things to worry about, so don't worry about me. You're free to make your own choices. I still have faith in us, but we will see what happens. But you have to promise me, if you realize that I am the one you want to be with.. do not hesitate, just get a hold of me and I will be right there.

After I said all of this, she seemed as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. She looked at peace. I feel like the guilt of me being sad was pushing her away even more. I left her with peace of mind and freedom to do what she wants. I do not want to give myself false hopes, but I have that gut feeling that she will come back to me, because I know she is in love with me and it is not over between us. It still does not feel like it is over. I would not make such a big deal over this if I had any doubt in my mind that she is still in love with me. I feel like things fall apart, so that better things can fall together.

What do you think?

[mmresd]

All these gut feelings, knowing things for a "fact", and assuming everything only creates one thing. False hope! She wants to be independent and that means no more relationship. She has made her choice, and you have no option but to respect her, and if you love her you are going to have to respect her decision as well. Start moving on, keep yourself busy, break ups suck, but they don't last forever, even if it may seem like it would.

[talaniman]

Sorry for your loss, but maybe the full realization of this has yet to sink in, but it will. Handle it with the same class as you did the break up.

[vanheart]

Sometimes things happens for a reason.
Sounds like she rebounded with you & you latched on.

There's a good lesson here.
Not to rush before you really know someone. And yourself.

"It still does not feel like it is over"
You have to get over that one. It is.
That's the first step.

"in my mind that she is still in love with me"
Oh yeah? Doesn't seem like it.
You are right. It is all in your mind.

I am a big advocate of NC.
It will help your perspective.

All I know, is that.
When someone no longer wants you as a partner, then you split.

Simple, actually.
Later?
By that time, you are way gone.