[zzzphwah]

Hi there,

I moved from Europe to America with my boyfriend of 4 years (almost 4 and a half years) only to be dumped 2 weeks of arriving. The decision to move was mutual; I had an internship going and he had a job in a very popular, large company. After his first week of work he sprung it on me that it was over. I was devastated! I still am. Especially because I wasn't expecting this. When he dumped me he told me he needed to find out who he was and he's so much happier working in his new job than with me. I had been nothing but supportive and before we left he made so many promises to me about our future and said no matter what, he'll always be there for me (emotionally and financially). He comes from a (I don't want to say poor... ) but less well off family in Europe and coming to America he's sort of overwhelmed with all the 'modernities' that he never had.
Ever since he dumped me I have not spoken to him or seem him until a week ago when I sent him an email saying that he was free to go. I only sent him this email to 'redeem' my dignity as the last time he saw me I was crying like a baby, begging him not to leave me. He replied with the usual rubbish saying I hope we can be friends in the future, you were my true love etc. I am in so much pain though. I miss him but it sounds like he's moved on...

[DaniCalifornia]

Oh dear. This sounds just like the story in a girly novel I just finished! You poor lady.

Are you staying where you've moved or going back to family? Or are you planning on going back once your internship is complete?

I hope others can agree with me when I say he sounds like a right t*at. I hate all that "true love", "it's not you it's me" nonsense. Grow a pair and give the girl a proper explanation!

And while my rant is over, I'd like to hear how you're coping, and what you plan to do. I'm sure you'll get plenty of help from this site alone.

X Dani

[zzzphwah]

Thanks for your response Dani. Luckily I have family here so I'm staying with them while I finish my internship. They keep reminding me how lucky I am that they are here because imagine if he did this where I had no family or anywhere to go! Although this is true, it doesn't make it any easier.

I am doing a lot better than I was a couple weeks ago but I still think about him a lot. I always wonder if he misses me or thinks he made a mistake. A lot of people who know us say that he is just mesmerized by all these new things and American culture(He's meeting new people who excite him, shopping wherever he wants as money isn't tight at all etc) and once the excitement wares away he'll realise what a huge mistake he's made. What do you think?

I also forgot to mention that when he broke up with me he told me he had been dropping home some girl who he works with and he finds her attractive. That was really painful to swallow...

[DaniCalifornia]

Darling, he WILL realise, but you won't be there when he DOES realise what a mistake he made.

I think it was horrible what he did to you, and that you deserve better. And what he said about the other girl was unnecessary, just a kick in the bum to you!

X Dani