[loner123]

I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years. I'm now 23 and she's 25. In the beginning, it was amazing. We would go out together, stay in, got along really well, had a healthy sex life, moved in together -- things were great.

But as the years went on, she started to email other girls from sites she'd visited, sending them pics, making up stories about who she lived with, etc. This happened on 3 or 4 separate occasions. I came across the emails, confronted her about it, and she said it was just a bit of fun but none of what she said was true. So each time, I forgave her.

Then we decided to buy an XBox, since we were both into computer games and so are our friends. Six months later, she decided to meet up with a girl she plays with, so they went to the cinema. This turned out to be a frequent habit. At the time, my girlfriend had no phone as she had knelt on it and broke it. I said she could use mine in order to keep in touch with her friends. I discovered they were holding hands, etc. and the cinema was actually a date.

She got upset when I confronted her about and said it was just holding hands. She wanted to do more but felt bad because of me and wasn't confident enough, so didn't. I demanded she tell the girl who I was (girlfriend not flat mate!) the next time she played with her on the XBox. She did, and the girl got weird with her (shouldn't have lied in the first place), but they speak now.

Was recently cleaning our house when I found a book, started to read it, and it was a love poem for one of her best friends. Apparently, she was having a 'moment' and that was all. It's just since her friend's birthday. All she's done is be with her for nearly three weeks -- not staying every night, but the majority of the time. If her friend stayed at our house, she slept downstairs and not in our bed.

When I'm around them, both just want to sit and cuddle -- quote, "I miss being close with you when we hang around with cez and that its just ... frustrating .. its not like I don't want to be close to you.. you know what i mean?" but I've never had a friend like this.

Is this normal? Am I over-reacting all the time? Don't get me wrong -- I do love and care for her a lot, but I can't help having doubts when the track record isn't so great. I just feel like an outsider as though I may have done something to make her do this. Does any of that ranting makes sense? Has anyone been through something similar?

Thanks! X

[Homegirl 50]

Maybe your girl friend is gay. She needs to be honest with you and herself. If she is not gay, she is still cheating.
I think you two need to have a talk. Perhaps you need to leave her.

[mmresd]

I believe she is not really committed, she is more into the fun of it. I think that you should not expect this to last much longer, because it is obvious that she is into fun, not relationship.

[vanheart]

Sounds to me like past fun & not a real relationship.

No fun now. Is it?

Now what? I say split with your head held high.

Let her be with who she wants.

Not your worry.

[talaniman]

Time to set some rules or boundaries, or end it.