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Dadbythesea · Nov 2, 2011, 10:36 AM

She and I were living together for 10 years, bought a house, cars, furniture and so on. Our children are now 5 and 8 and, she has asked me to leave. I am currently unemployed and really have no where to go. My main concern is what rights do I have for partial custody or visitation? She has said she wants to take them to another state and start over. Do I have any recourse? Can she get child support? She insists everything is hers although most everything was bought with my income when I had one. I'm not really worried about things. I need to know if she can just take the kids wherever and whenever she wants. We live in California.

tickle · Nov 2, 2011, 10:47 AM

Unfortunately common law marriages are not recognized in California so that puts a different spin on the situation regarding property and possessions, but not necessarily children because you are the bio father and that makes a difference as to where she can and cannot go with the children. You will need a lawyer if you want to establish your rights but I don't think she can demand that you leave anymore then you can demand that she leave.

Tick

AK lawyer · Nov 2, 2011, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by Dadbythesea

She and I were living together for 10 years, bought a house, cars, furniture and so on. Our children are now 5 and 8 and, she has asked me to leave. I am currently unemployed and really have no where to go. My main concern is what rights do I have for partial custody or visitation? She has said she wants to take them to another state and start over. Do I have any recourse? Can she get child support? She insists everything is hers although most everything was bought with my income when I had one. I'm not really worried about things. I need to know if she can just take the kids wherever and whenever she wants. We live in California.

Jurisdicton for a custody/visitation petition would be in California for six months after they move. Then it would be in wherever they move to.

Yes, she is entitled to child support if she takes custody of the children.

The personal possessions belong to whomever paid for them. If you bought a house together, it can't be sold until the two of you agree about splitting the equity, if any. Are the automobiles titled in both of your names?

And Tickle has a good point: if you jointly own the house, she cannot demand that you just leave.

cdad · Nov 2, 2011, 02:15 PM

File right away for custody/visitation. Don't wait. At that time you will be asked to pay child support if your not the custodial parent. If you become the custodial parent then you will be the one receiving child support. You must file right away to prevent the move and to gain the most possible custody at this time.

ScottGem · Nov 2, 2011, 05:01 PM

While CA doesn't recognize common law marriages, it did pioneer Palimony. Which can work for or against you.

But, as the others have said, you need to move on establishing your legal paternity of the children if you haven't and on custody. If you don't, then she can move the children, though you may be able to force her and/or the children back.

If you are a full or part owner of the house she can't force you out without a court order.

Dadbythesea · Nov 2, 2011, 10:01 PM

Thanks for answering so quickly. I should clarify: We lost the house 2 years ago and the cars are separate. So we rent now and both our names are on the lease.(Can she kick me out?)

I am unemployed so I do feel for that reason alone the kids are better off with her (for now). Of course if she moves she will be unemployed then too. She currently works from home and would thus be leaving her clients.(Does that give me better standing?)

My biggest fear now is that she starts dating and begins parading random dudes through our young impressionable children's lives. I would never had thought this possible even a month ago but, the way she's going about things, I'm afraid she's gone a little crazy... (anything I can do about that?)

ScottGem · Nov 3, 2011, 03:07 AM

If both your names are on the lease, then she can't kick you out. Since you aren't married she can't file for a divorce and get an order forcing you out. Without some showing of violence, she can't force you out. She can move in the same area, leaving you stuck with the rent, you would have to sue her for her share of the rent. Once the lease expires, however, she can move, within the area.

And yes, she is free to date. There is nothing you can do to stop it. Since you decided not to protect your relationship legally by getting married you have limited your rights here. Your only rights is to custody and visitation of your children. And you will have to go to court for that.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 3, 2011, 04:14 AM

I will agree with Scott, with a lease, you do not have to move, but you are merely room mates, sharing a house,

You need to run to court NOW, and file for joint custody of the kids, and to get a order where she can not move out of state with the kids to protect your visit rights.

If she gets primary custody of the kids, yes most likely you will be paying child support.