[greeneptune]

My live-in boyfriend of over a year broke up with me two months ago. I have been devastated. He claimed that he 'needed space' but was still 'in love with me.' We are both 25, he is in college, I graduated 3 years ago.

The first couple of weeks I didn't contact him about anything other than logistical stuff (our apartment, our stuff). I even deleted his phone number. Then I realized I had memorized his phone number and one night started texting him. I expected he would ignore me, I WANTED him to ignore me, so I wouldn't be tempted to do it again. But he responded. We had a short back and forth and I felt like crap afterwards, I missed him so much. But I continued to text him from time to time.

Then two weeks ago he suddenly let me in on some health issues he was having (apparently he hadn't told anyone outside his family). This really messed me up. Not only was I now concerned about his health, I also felt this false sense of intimacy that made me want him even more... After this I decided I was going to do No Contact for real now.

6 days passed and yesterday I emailed him inviting him out to an event with me. Foolish, foolish. He hasn't responded, I feel like a fool, and I'm disappointed I couldn't keep No Contact. I really want to keep NC but I'm terrified he'll forget me or something, I don't know what's holding me back from really jumping into keeping NC.

Please help with any advice!

[isabrancato]

I have soooooooo been there. It's hard. You still love him. You want to be there for him. You want things to work out in the end. In my situation it did not. I'm not saying that your hope for a relationship is going to turn out the same way, but I really think you need to walk away and heal. It's hard. You have to tell yourself not to text/call/email. You may be excited if you writes/calls, but that excitement will turn into pain when things aren't progressing. It's like opening a wound.

You really just need to be strong. Do you have a close friend you can call when you want to contact him? It's possibly if you remove yourself from the immediate impulse to contact him... you may not do it.

[greeneptune]

Thank you isabrancato. I hear what you are saying, it's the same advice I've been trying to tell myself.
But there are these times when I get in this mind set where I don't care what the correct thing to do is. I don't care I should call a friend before contacting him when I'm convinced it's something I want to do. I get in this place where I can convince myself (without much effort) that somehow contacting him is OK. I wish I could hit my head against the wall to shake myself out of it. Part of the reason I joined this forum is so I can have an alternative to contacting him when a friend/relative isn't available. I'm trying to broaden my avenues to support. So, thank you!

[mmresd]

You need to be stronger, make the no contact a commitment, and keep yourself busy. GO out, meet new people, work out, run, jump, whatever. Just keep yourself busy, only way to get over a break up is allowing time to go by.