[Raj_1987]

Hi! My name is Raj and I'm 24yrs old.. Two years back I got a friend request in Orkut from a gal & I accepted it as she was also from my Eng coll.. In the first chat itself, she said, she is in love with me and stuff. From coll days itself she had a crush on me and al.. I neva met her in coll.. She started nagging me and literally she was behind me for almost four five months..
Finally, I thought she s true and loves me very much. I accepted her. Within a month she started imposing rules on me saying I'm not suppose to talk to any gal or I shld chat or meet any gal.. By that I was in deep love with her. So, I happily agreed for al her rules and till date I'm the same. I don't get along with any girl just bcoz she will feel bad.
Problem started, when she was not the same. She used to get very close with al guys and move around :( morning if she meets someone, by two days she used to get close to him & she used to hide evry damn think with me :(
If I ask, she used to pick some silly fights & used to blame for al nonsense & she neva used to accept her mistakes..
I was bit abusive & I have agreed it with her & apologized. But she keep on blaming me saying I'm abusive. I don't understand what's wrong with me.. One thing is, she is more abusive than me. She hits me and abuses my parents and insults me in-front of her colleagues for simple fights.. But I have forgiven her thinking she would have done it in anger :( but when I abused her in anger was treated like crime and till date I have been blamed for that.
I have been blamed for being possessive. I asked her not to party with guys in the night & move around with other guys when in serious relation with me. Asking her was crime :( I was treated like dog :(
I brought up in very conservative family & even she. But she s very modern & I don't have any problem in she being modern. But about me, being from conservative family, I don't how to be not possessive about my girl :(
These kind of humiliation continued for almost an year & we fought very badly and stopped talking for almost 2months. I kept on waiting thinking she would understand and come back.
She came back saying sorry and stuff after 3months, I thought she would be all right now. Later on realized with in 15days after fight, she went for another guy & had an affair. Donno what happened she came to me after 3months.. I again accepted her but she kept on the affair with him as-well :( I was kept as a spare :( when I observed they both getting very close I completely stopped her:( even now she s behind me and parallel with him :( I'm so damn confused :( I love her :( but I can't accept her after al this :(
Please someone advise me :( I'm so down and feeling so much inferior :(

[DoulaLC]

Hello Raj_1987... welcome to AMHD,

I'd like you to reread what you have written and think about what you would say to a friend if they came to you and shared the same story. What would you suggest they do?

I would count my blessings that she is out of your life... and this time, make sure she stays out.

She has been physically abusive (and apparently so have you which is truly wrong and should not ever happen). She has insulted you and your family. She has had affairs. She picks fights. She doesn't take responsibility for the things she does. She has treated you like a dog. She imposes rules on you.

Why do you want to be with her? That is not love. That is not anything close to love. She has made it very clear that she does not love you or respect you by how she has behaved.

It is not you, it is a flaw in her character. She cheated on you, and treated you badly, because she is that sort of person. You can't change that.

Yes, you feel badly. Everyone does when a relationship doesn't go how we would like it to. But it won't last long and you are better off finding someone who will treat you how you would like to be treated. You are lucky to be free of her. With someone else, you will get to see what it feels like to be truly loved and respected.

I wish you well.