I think you need to end all contact with your ex. Do not instigate contact and do not accept any contact from him. It is causing you to become confused and put energy into something you need to let go.
How long were you single between your ex and when you began dating your husband? How long did you date your husband before marrying him? Did you date anyone else between these two relationships?
I think you might want to look into counseling for yourself and your marriage. While I think you may have moved from one relationship into the next one faster than perhaps you should have, I do think you need to give your marriage a chance to work. Be open with your husband that you are having doubts about the marriage and want to try to resolve them. He deserves to know there are issues. He doesn't deserve to be dumped for an ex who is trying to woo you away from being a loyal, faithful wife. (Let's be honest, if you left your husband for the ex, then the ex would be wondering who you would leave him for and would use that insecurity to control your every move and friendship.)
Quite frankly, I wouldn't trust a word that your ex has to say. To me it sounds like someone who doesn't want anyone else to have his toy even though he threw it away.
I think you would be making a big mistake if you gave up a stable relationship for a promise that is easily broken. Your past relationship is gone. You cannot get it back no matter what the ex says.
Give your marriage a chance and let the ex and the past go once and for all. Stop allowing him to confuse you.
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