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    Brad_of_Earth's Avatar
    Brad_of_Earth Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 22, 2011, 09:03 PM
    My First Breakup
    All through school I never had a girlfriend, but not long after I graduated (I am 21 now) I met a girl on the Internet and we started talking as friends. Not too long after that we began a long distance relationship that eventually lead to me going a few states over to get her and we moved in together and were in love.

    We dated for two years, I was constantly happy and in love with her but just a little over a week ago she set me down and told me she was no longer happy. She said she loved me but it was now a different kind of love she said that her love for me changed. So she moved out and went to live with my best friend! She says she is just staying with him until she can save the money to go back to her state and she has even gotten a job to do so but I just think it is fishy, I won't talk to the friend anymore, and I think they are together now.

    She still wants to be friends and she is still friends with all my friends but I don't know. Do you all think it was right of her to move in with our friend? He always seemed fond of her, I checked the phone bill and they texted every day for the past few months. Do you all think I have been cheated on? Or that she left me for him? Oh and PS I offered to give her all the money she needed to go back to her state but she said she wants to make the money herself...

    I have been miserable since it happened and feel no better really. I can't help but think they are together even though they both say they are not. How can I get closure and how can I get over her and live a happy life? I love her so much still... I didn't even know anything was wrong! I did everything for her.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Oct 22, 2011, 09:09 PM
    Oh, man.

    I feel for you. Read the stickies here.

    You are official now. Broken up. Ahh.

    Forget your investment & go NC, asap. That's my advice.

    You will thank that later. Do it now.

    Don't talk to her.

    Give yourself some time to let it soak in.

    Were here. Know the deal. Sucks.
    It gets better.

    Join the club.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 23, 2011, 12:27 PM
    I feel for you too, and do feel there was some cheating going on. But you are the lucky one, because she is gone, ad she is someone else's problem. You are free to do better, AFTER a proper healing/mourning period.

    Break ups always suck, be it the first or the 50th, so you are not alone at all. Just give yourself time to heal and rebuild your confidence and leave the LYING cheaters alone, even if you have to make new friends, or change the routine a bit.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Oct 25, 2011, 03:31 PM
    Yes, it hurts. We understand, we have all been there.

    You are asking the wrong questions. It doesn't matter WHY she broke up with you, what matters is that she has. You need to accept it and start moving on. It may seem impossible to get over something like this, and you will feel desesperation. However, that will eventually die down. It may not seem like it, and it make a long time, but it WILL happen. I promise. It starts with you, don't befriend her because that will only make the healing process longer, you need to cut complete contact with her. Make new friends if you have to, you are 21, and go out and have fun. See her as an experience that you enjoyed, thank her (in your mind not personally) for everything she taught you and for all the good and bad feelings she made you feel, and open your book to the next chapter in your life. Eventually you will enjoy being alone again, you lived without her for 19 years before you even met her... remember that.

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