[demelza.james]

My son is 13years old. His father and I were married for 15years and we separated in December 2011 because of the years of gambling and financial abuse. My husband refused to move out of our rented, marital home so I took my son with me to stay with my brother and his wife. My son went to stay with his father over Christmas and decided he wanted to stay with him. I now rent my own property and pay my husband maintenance for my son. I pay £360 evry four weeks, do the school runs amongst other things. I have no problem with doing any of this, but I give the maintenance to his father and I am concerned that the money is still going on gambling. My husband has given up his job and is at home all day. He is claiming benefits. He has no car. Can I pay the maintenance to my son and not to my husband?

[JudyKayTee]

Is this by Court Order or "private" agreement? I realize you are in the UK and I am in the US BUT the rule of thumb is that child support puts a roof over the child's head, pays utilities, food, necessities. Child support is paid to the caretaker, not the child, to cover those expenses.

If you feel the situation is unfair then go to Court and get a very specific Court Order.

[Fr_Chuck]

Agree, support is not just money to the child, but pays the electric bill, pays the rent, the car payment, insurance and more. So it is doubtful that it can go just to the child. It could not in the US.