[joemellie]

I am from Florida and am not listed on my child's birth certificate. My ex-girlfriend plans on marrying soon. From the day my child was born, I have been a stay-at-home dad taking care of the child. Can she keep me from seeing my child, and can the man adopt my child? Thank you for your time and considerations.

[joemellie]

I quit my job when my girlfriend had our child 6 years ago. She worked I took care of my child at home.I was kicked out of her home. Can she make me pay child support for the past 6 years? I want to be a BIG part of my child's life. I already miss her. How can I assure that I help raise her since I am moving to Florida for work? This is a bad situation. I don't really care about me or my child's mother but my child. I just want the best for her and watch her grow up everyday. Thank you. I am not on the birth certificate but I am the biological father. Thank you anyone who can help me.

[JudyKayTee]

You have rights but you need to go to Court to get enforce them. First, you need to file for visitation and/or custody, whichever you want. Has DNA testing been done to prove paternity?

She will counter with a request for child support, most likely.

She can ONLY ask for child support from the date she files the Petition onward. She cannot claim for support child UNLESS it was Court-ordered, and apparently it was not.

The Court will set the guidelines for visitation - here, there, wherever you are, based on what is best for the child. Unless the mother is unfit and a danger to the child you are not going to have the benefit of moving to another State and watching the child on a daily basis.

Jurisdiction, by the way, is where the child lives - so file before you go.

Your post is refreshing. A lot of people are using the child as a pawn to get even with the other parent OR trying to get out of paying support. You don't need me to congratulate you - but congratulations on caring so much for your child.

[AK lawyer]

After she gets married, and if her husband wants to adopt the child, some effort will have to be made to notify the biological father. She might, perhaps, say that she doesn't have any idea who the father is, in which case you would not be notified. So you should file a notarized claim of paternity form with the Florida Putative Father Registry.

And, in the mean time, if you want legally enforceable rights, you need to file for them with the court.

[joemellie]

Thank you JudyK. I have not taken a paternity test. Yet. Is there any way she can prevent this? I'm not at war with my child's mother just preparing for the worse. My goal is to be in my child's life and to be her father no matter where I am. 6 years I've been taking care of my child to find out I won't be doing it everyday anymore.sad. My child and mother live in Tennessee and I will be moving back to Florida. So I should file in Tennessee? Will there be a problem if I don't file before I leave?

And thank you AK. If my child is in Tennessee should I file the Putative Father Registry in Tennessee or Florida where I will be moving? Your time and answers are a comfort. Thank you.

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to do some things now, and sorry it could get dirty and she may be counting on you being too weak to fight for your rights.

Your moving will hurt part of it, had you stayed you may have even gotten custody of the child, since you were the stay at home parent, you may have even sued for and gotten the custody with the mother only getting visits. Or at worst, I think you could get joint custody, sharing time equal with the child. But if you move away, you will only get visits that can be worked from another state.
If this happens, yes you can be required to pay child support.

All the filings will need to be done in TN as long as at least one of the parents lives in TN.

[ScottGem]

You may find this a bit harsh, but you need a wakeup call here. I can understand not going to court for custody. You were living together as a family, taking care of the child. But why did you not insist on being on the birth certificate? This lack may come back to haunt you.

Its not clear whether you have moved back to FL yet or not. If you haven't, change your plans now.

Also, what were the circumstances of being kicked out of the home. If she forced you to leave, you may have a case against her.

But the bottom line here is you should be spending TODAY finding a lawyer. By the end of the week, you should be filing in TN for primary physical custody of your daughter.

Unfortunately for you TN law DOES allow for retroactive support:
Child Support in Tennessee Divorce Law FAQs TN | Memphis divorce attorney
But since you were a stay at home father, you may escape that, if she files. Since the child's residence is TN you have to deal with TN law and TN courts, so I would postpone your move back to FL until the custody issues are settled.

Yes you file with the TN Putatative Father Registry. But that's just cautionary. You need to be proactive here and that means filing for primary custody.

[JudyKayTee]

Good site, Scott, good catch. The wording is: "In paternity cases and voluntary acknowledgment of cases, retroactive support may be ordered from birth. The court may also award child support retroactively to the date of separation of a married couple, abandonment of a child, or physical custody of a parent or non-parent caretaker. Retroactive support is calculated using the average income of the parties over the previous two years. Other provisions may apply if a parent has intentionally hidden the child to prevent visitation."

OP needs an Attorney to avoid the word "may" entering into the proceeding.

[AK lawyer]

I am from Florida and ...

:D

This is what is called a "red herring". The fact that you are from Florida really has no bearing on the matter, but your mentioning it (and no other state), reasonably suggested that everything related to your question pertained to that state.

... and thank you AK. if my child is in tennessee should i file the Putative Father Registry in tennessee or florida where i will be moving? your time and answers are a comfort. thank you.

If she were to marry someone, and he petitioned to adopt the child, where do you suppose they would look for an unknown father? Unless the child was born or conceived in Florida (and birth certificates don't indicate the place of conception), why would they look at the Florida PFR? No, you would file in Tennessee, assuming that's where the child was born.

[joemellie]

Thank you again everyone I know you are all helping with no payment in return. As I've stated I have been a stay home father for 6 years hence no money and no way of getting any. The mother and I are civil so she will lend me money for transportation to Florida. Nothing more. I am also dependent on transportation from her while here.I am not fighting for custody because she is a good mother. I only want joint custody when I get established.

@Scott.she is forcing me to leave but we are not married and it is her home.so I'm grateful she doesn't just put me on the street. Which I would literally be.she is getting enough money for me to move to Florida to stay with friends until I get on my feet. I want to be prepared for what I need to do to to remain in my daughters life. Let me make this clear. Of course I WANT to pay child support and will do everything I can to make sure that is priority one. By the way. Child was born in Florida. We have been in Tennessee 2 years now. Thank you for your time.

[AK lawyer]

[QUOTE=AK lawyer;2922150... you would file in Tennessee, assuming that's where the child was born.[/QUOTE]

... btw. child was born in florida. we have been in tennessee 2 years now. ...

*sigh*

Unless I am making some more false assumptions, then you would file in the Florida PFR.

But of course you would still have to file for visitation rights in the Tennessee courts (as long as the child's "home state" remains there).

[ScottGem]

@Scott.she is forcing me to leave but we are not married and it is her home.so im grateful she doesnt just put me on the street. which i would literally be.she is getting enough money for me to move to florida to stay with friends til i get on my feet. i want to be prepared for what i need to do to to remain in my daughters life. let me make this clear. of course i WANT to pay child support and will do everthing i can to make sure that is priority one. btw. child was born in florida. we have been in tennessee 2 years now. thank you for your time.

The reason I asked about forcing you to leave is that you are a resident in her home. Even though it is HER home, she has to treat you as a tenant and give you proper notice. Based on what I quoted above, it appears you haven't left yet, which is not the impression you originally gave. But she has to give you 30 days WRITTEN notice to vacate.

It does not matter where the child was born, it matters where the child resides. Since you have been in TN for 2 years that's the place of residence.

You really should consult an attorney. I would not be surprised if she was helping you move because she knows that will make it harder for you file for custody. But if I understand you, you gave up your job 6 years ago and assumed the role of stay at home dad. I think you may be able to get primary custody and have her pay YOU support. But you need to consult an attorney to see what your options are.