[Pooh90]

My name is yasmine I have been wanting a baby since I was 14 some say I should wait but I don't want to I want something to call mine I want to give a baby the world what should I do I think I'm ready physically and emotionally:confused:

[worthbeads]

No. You probably couldn't support it most importantly. You also don't see the downside to a child. It is a big responsibility that would reduce your free time and you couldn't handle the stress. Also, how do you expect to have this child. There aren't exactly 50 boys outside of your door waiting to help you raise a child. And what would your parents think of this? Plus, it could ruin your future. How will you continue with your education. Trust me, you are not ready, no matter how much you think you are.

[letmetellu]

The heading on your post says it all "16 and confused" you are not ready to have a baby

[soul2squeeze]

Listen Love, as a young woman you do not need to have a child in order to have something to call your own. You own yourself and that is what a 16 year old girl like you should try and open your mind to. Own yourself, your actions and emotions. Go out there and make new friends and relationships. Go across the country and see your favorite concerts. When you are 21, go out dancing. Live on your own, and make all of it yours. During all this you will probably meet the man of your dreams that will help you raise your children together in a REAL family environment. I hope I helped you in your reasoning. I am a 27 year old single mother. I love my son, but I really never will get another chance to just be me any time soon... unless I hire a babysitter... LOL

[tamed]

If you really want something to call your own then get yourself a puppy.

[buggage]

You said you want to have a baby so you can give it the world. Hun, at 16, you can't give yourself the world, much less give it to a child. When you say you want to give it the world, do you mean love, toys, food, home, loving mommy and daddy, clothes, medical care, on and on the list goes. A baby can't survive on love alone, it needs constant support physically and emotionally. That means food(which means a good paying job) a roof over its head (again, a good paying job) toys (a good paying job) at 16 you can not get a good paying job. And burger king just won't cut it.(ESP if you don't finish high school, because you have to take care of baby) not only do you have to get good money from this job to pay for all the things baby needs(including child care, where your baby will have to be while you go out and make money, meaning you see your job more then you baby, and your baby grows up with a serogate mommy... the babysitter) but you also need good insurance. The insurance to cover your pregnancy so you can get good health care to make sure baby is born healthy, and health care after baby is born for immunizations, health check ups and all the inevitable sick times. (ESP if baby goes to daycare. Someone's kids are ALWAYS sick in daycare, which means your baby will get it too) you will have to get out of bed multiple times a night, sit up through episodes of colic and sickness,teethng and just plain fussyness. Half the time you don't know what is wrong, but you have to keep your cool and take care of baby. Then when morning rolls around, no time for sleep, straight off to work. You work all day at a burgerking or as a maid, or whatever job you can get at such a young tender and uneducated age. When you get off from work, you come home, baby is still sick, or unhappy, or tired or just demanding of your time, you've had a long hard day without sleep, but the day isn't over. You feed baby, change endless diapers and spit up on clothes, you pace the room with baby in arms while you try to figure out finances on a very small budget. Rent is late, the fridge is empty... you finally get baby to sleep, and lay down yourself after doing some house cleaning, and in a few hours, you're up again. Is that really the way you want to spend your youth?? Once baby comes, there is no time to yourself, baby even has to come into the bathroom with you so they don't get into trouble while you are in there. Maybe you are counting on your baby daddy to help out. Have you ever watched maury? Or any of the other day time shows? Teenage guys are notorious for not sticking around when responsibility rares its head. They run, and you are raising your new obligation alone. And on down the road, how many guys do you think are lining up for a " ready made family"? Not many. That's a big responsibility for that guy to take on right away, emotionally and physically, and most would prefer to start without "baggage".(not to mention the stretch marks and other lovely things that will remain with you from pregnancy for the rest of your life. Let me tell you, they don't make you feel attractive.) while there are some really great guys out there, if you do find one willing to love and take care of you both, it will be a rough start to the relationship as it will be a big change. Don't get me wrong. Being a parent is the most wonderful thing in the world. I am a mommy of two. But I have a hubby who is able to go out and provide for us financially, so that I am able to stay home with kiddos, and raise them in the way we want them raised(not by someone else, with someone else's guidelines) I wouldn't trade my life or my boys for anything. I am also 22. I started my family when I was 19. And it was SO incredibly hard... and I was 3 years older then you! Being a parent is about being completely unselfish. You can not be selfish as a parent, because if you are, your little one will hurt because of it. Every reason you have for wanting a baby, is selfish. Give yourself time to grow up, gain expereince and knowledge, gain the wonderful world that you want to give that child. And when you have gained the world for yourself, and you are able to give the child the world in return, THEN you will be ready to try.

[kanicky73]

Letmetellu and Tamed, brilliantly put!! I couldn't agree more, 16 and confused, go and get yourself a brand new puppy and you will see how much unbelievable responsibility it is. You will need to take that puppy outside in the middle of the night when it has to go and all other responsibilitys that go along with it. I am willing to bet you get frustrated in the first week. The puppy you could take back, a baby not so much.

[saraispiel19]

My name is yasmine i have been wanting a baby since i was 14 some say i should wait but i don't want to i want some thing to call mine i want to give a baby the world what should i do i think i'm ready physically and emotionally:confused:

You αre one stupid girl-- girls αt 16 αre usuαlly αsking for α cαr to go αlong with their license not α bαby!. on your profile it sαys you like to give αdvice to younger kids-- well hunny you shouldn't becαuse with α mind like yours your αdvice wouldn't be the wisest to get. You obviously need help- tell your mom or your doctor or even α councilor... α bαby? hα --- you hαve α whole life αheαd of you αnd you wαnt to plαy house!
**Good luck on living with your pαrents or in α welfαre home for the rest of your life with thαt bαby...

[buggage]

I just read another one of your posts, about your ex. It sounds to me that you were hurt because you thought you loved this guy and that he loved you, and when he left you and started flirting with your 13 year old cousin, it really hurt you. But having a baby is not the way to treat this. You are 16 and have your whole life ahead of you. There are guys out there who will show you the proper respect you deserve. However, if you do not demand respect, you will not be shown it. And going out and having sex just to get preggy, will NOT get you that respect. If this guy is flirting with your 13 year old cousin, he is definitely not the kind of guy you want to have a relationship with, much less a baby. Go out and date other guys, have a fun teenage life. There will be plenty of time to settle down in a mature relationship. Don't throw away your adolecence just because you are head over heels for this guy who obviously is just a player. Never settle.demand more for yourself, earn self respect.

[J_9]

Yasmine, I would like to help you, but before I do you need to tell me exactly why you think you are ready emotionally. Physically it is possible once you start your period it is possible, but how do you know you are physically ready besides that?

[kp2171]

My mother was 16 when she had me. Father was 17.

While she'll tell you she would not change a thing... it is a huge responsibility and lifelong effort.

You have something to call your own. It is the present and the future. Id encourage you to live a little and put off thinking a child will complete you for now. Get an education. Get established in a life as an adult. If you really want a child, these are the things that can help make your life and your child's life better.

My wife was 21 when she had a daughter. Again, she wouldn't go back to change it, but shed be the first to tell you how hard it was as a single mother... and shed tell you what shed tell our daughter, now 20...

Be patient. Your time will come, but it doesn't need to be now.

[JimmyJim]

I say get a dog.
If you can handle looking after that properly (and only you will know if you are or not) then get about 10 more dogs and see if you can manage that. If you can go have a baby.

[Myth]

Let me just add this... could you deal with twins or triplets? It is one of the hardest things in this world to care for just one child. To care for two or even three... heaven forbid... is nearly impossible for grown adults and your still not an adult. I have my twins and if I had to do this the first time around I couldn't have done it. Do you know how many eggs your body releases at any given month? Can you control how many children you would have. I couldn't... I have four children now. I suggest you rethink your needs here. You need to have fun and learn a little more about the world, because you are the first teacher to your child. How much do you think that child will be able to learn from you if you don't know about it yourself.

[MummaCrash]

I worry about a few things. Not that I'm one to talk, I am a 19yro Mother.

*Would an Obstetrician/Midwife tell you that your body, taking your age into account, would be able to deliver a baby without having a high percentage risk of complications?
There is so much to look at that is a worry, pre-eclampsia, hemorrhaging etc.

*Are you in a relationship with a man?
There's no other way obviously, IVF is not an option.

*You should take both of the parents into account.

*Do you think it's fair on the father to watch a young Mother carry his baby with so many risks involved.

*Do you think it's fair on him when he might want to go to college and devote his life to education or a career first so he can be prepared financially and mentally for a planned pregnancy, etc.
Being physically prepared doesn't really make sense to me because obviously his body is able to conceive at such a young age. Sperm doesn't care about who's the Mumma, they just want to compete in the race to the egg.

*Do you think it's fair on yourself to spend the rest of your adolescence caring for a baby, going through 9 months of emotional mood swings, anguish when giving birth comes around, risk of trauma, risk of ripping from your vaginal entry to your anas? Bleeding to death?

*Breastfeeding can hurt just as much as giving birth especially because mastitis is so common and cracked nipples are just as painful as a having an internal examination during 10 second apart contractions.

*Do you worry financially about how your baby will survive on 'who's' income?

*Do you worry about lack of support, being held under cruel subjugation you might possibly endure repugnant vies from not only the law but your friends and family?


All of this was running through my mind when I was pregnant.
I still worry but I try my best to look at how well we've achieved.
I've never spoke of this before but I lost Chloe's twin during the pregnancy. It's incredibly heartbreaking but I don't like to talk about it but I always wonder what it would be like to raise twins, I better stop talking before I get too emotional.

I know I wouldn't have gotten so far without the support and love from my partner and family.

[babieface85]

Something to think about- A baby is not yours as much as you are his's/her's. You give and give to a baby and he/she does not say thank you.
I worry about you developing postpartum depression. A person can not be happy with someone else (baby) until that person is happy as an individual. The baby can not fill your insecurities if any thing they will worsen because you will face more difficulties. You can not relay on an innocent baby to make your life more gratifying .
I am not saying that you are not ready for a baby (I know young girls who have become pregnant and rose to the occasion); I am saying that a baby will not be what you seem to need him/her to be for you.
Remember wanting a baby is normal and you should not feel ashamed. I commend you for your honesty about your desire. You are a wise girl to seek advice to help you though your struggle.
Consider getting on the BC shot, it last 3 months so you are less likely to stop taking on a whim when you desire for a baby gets to strong.

[alkalineangel]

I wouldn't suggest the shot to anyone personally, but You are a little too young for a baby. You have so much ahead of you. I don't want to scare you, but so many people just think of the cute little baby and nothing else, but pregnancy, esp in young age, has its risks. (dont get me wrong, I was a young mother, got pregnant at 19 and had him at 20.. ) I have a good friend who went in this past Saturday for a caesarean because she had developed Preeclampsia and Toxemia. The baby wasn't due until August. She delivered the baby, a healthy boy 1lbs, 15oz, but she went unconsious during the surgery and has yet to wake up. They think she suffered a stroke from a combination of the preeclampsia, toxemia, and an unknown pre-existing heart problem. She has yet to see her son yet, and is now on a ventilator, and is having daily dialysis because her kidneys were failing. Her brain is also swelling. All Im saying is she was young (23), got pregnant on her first sexual interaction, and now may not live to see her son. There is risk in every pregnancy, but esp if you are young. 15-16 year old girls are not yet built to carry babies... please, reconsider these thoughts, you have plenty of time for children.

[Myth]

There is only one thing that I disagree with babyface on. It's the shot. I hate that thing and with some people it can really affect their health. A lot of women on this board have had bad experiences with it. I have actually shrunk an inch and then some and I gained 75lbs when I was on it. So some research about birth control before you jump into one. Ask about it on here and you will definitely get some feed back about it.

[alkalineangel]

Yes, I said that as well, the shot messed my body up for several months... and I only had one dose. In fact I can't be on any birth control now and we aren't sure if is because of the shot, or because of the last pregnancy... but I got horrible occular migraines, where I actually physically lost sight briefly.

[klinus1997]

My name is yasmine i have been wanting a baby since i was 14 some say i should wait but i don't want to i want some thing to call mine i want to give a baby the world what should i do i think i'm ready physically and emotionally:confused:

WAIT... You will have the hardest life ever. I was 20 years old when I had my daughter and the 1st 7 years I had to work 3 jobs to support us. I have finally gotten to the top of my industry and almost have a Bachelors degree. I will be 32 when I get it. Don't you want to be able to take care of your child financially? Do you want your child's life to be hard? Get a cat or a dog...

[endlessecho]

I understand what you are saying but this is what you need to think of. When you have kids, you want to be able to give them the whole world! You want to be able to buy them the best things, give them the best care, and spend all your time with them, loveing them and taking care of them, but at 16 you can not do that. Wiat until you have meet the man you want to marry (and you should probably marry him first. Lol) then then try to have a baby. That way you are finacially and spiritally ready , as well as emotionally and physically ready. Then you really can give your baby the world, you and his/her daddy!