[whalexplod]

I am 27 and my wife is 25 we have two boys one almost two the other 8months.since we had the second kid she really has lost her sex drive,although after the first it wasn't the best but I was hoping for a change.I have a very high sex drive and would not mind having sex everyday,but for her once a week is having too much sex.Before we got married we did not really court for long but in the short time she was more adventurous and allowed sex daily or 3 times a week.Now when ever I try its one excuse or the other,take her to movies,eat out,games,even I have tried getting her to drink wine and all sorts,but the most I have gotten his once or lucky weeks TWICE.Now its getting worse,she does not even care about when I complain about sex any more,she just simply says something else and move on.I have tried all sorts,give head for time and at the end she says no,I have really put allot into this trying to be more and more adventurous,even went Ann summers to buy toys,she hardly allowed me use them once.Please I need advise as I am really really frustrated and Imagine our marriage is just two years old.

[Cat1864]

How much help do you give your wife with the children, house, etc. Does she work outside the house or is she a stay-at-home mother? Does she get any time to herself to do things with friends or alone to relieve the stress of dealing with two very young children? Do you show her affection when you aren't expecting or wanting sex? When you show affection, does she think it all a ploy to get sex?

Having young children who need almost constant care is enough to wear any one down and she may be too exhausted to think about sex. If she is also taking care of the house, you and everything else, sex may seem like another 'chore'. Her brain may not be allowing her to think about sex as being something fun.

Instead of 'complaining' about not getting enough, find out what she needs to be more receptive to the thought of intimacy.

Toys might help you, but they aren't going to help get her mind involved if all she can think about is diapers, potty training, keeping the toddler from hurting the baby, dishes, laundry, is the floor clean enough so that the baby can safely crawl around, are the toddler's toys picked up so that no one trips over them, is anyone teething, what's for breakfast, lunch dinner, and the list goes on.

Basically, for a woman to be aroused and interested in sex, her brain has to be involved. The body follows the brain. If she can't relax and let the daily stress dissipate, then she isn't going to want to accept the pressure of having sex to satisfy her husband being added to the list. Talk with her and listen to her.

Be aware that once a week is doing really good when you have babies in the house. Look at intimacy in non-sexual ways. Dinner out, watching the stars, cuddling in front of the TV, spending time remembering you are a couple as well as parents. Show affection when you don't expect sex in return. Remind her through the little things that you find her attractive and that you love her. Let her see that you recognize there is more to the relationship than sexual contact.

[whalexplod]

Thanks so much